Splash Pad Throw Down!

OK, well, my first born made it to 17 months until her mommy got into a verbal fight with another mom. Should I be proud of that? I've thought through this confrontation over and over, and I'm confident that in hindsight I still handled it the way I believe I should have.

So here we are, kicking off a fantastic family vacation in Florida with a stop at Busch Gardens in Tampa. We pretty much stuck to the kiddo area with our toddler, which meant splash pad fun! Woohoo! Bugga loves these things, having just discovered them at home - she doesn't have to stress over blowing bubbles or not touching the bottom when she wants to.

Bugga and I were walking around the large splash pad area looking at all the fun water obstacles, as I noticed the posted rules included "Yield to small children." Perfect - that is us indeed!

There is an area that essentially has water "guns" that can be aimed at each other in 90 degree circles and directed to a variety of heights. As we walked past this with another mom and her stroller, a 5-year-old boy turned and aimed right at me and my 1 year old. He drenched me (and I was wearing street clothes) and hosed my daughter down in the face. His expression stated that he clearly knew what he was doing. The mom with the stroller was apparently his mother, said something to him along the lines of, "Play niiiiiiiiice" and then kept on walking, turning her back on her misbehaving son. He then turned right around, aimed at my daughter's face again, and sprayed her with the water while squealing, "Got you!!!!"

Oh it was on.

I gave the mother a stern, "Ma'am!" call, and she froze, as she clearly knew this had to do with her child. She turned around with attitude on her face and a "Yeah?" where I promptly told her that her son was out of hand and needed a parent to help him out. She immediately got all defensive and said, "Well you ARE at a water park, you should expect to get wet!"

Me: "What I don't expect is for my daughter to be attacked by such a mean kid that is 5 times her size."
Her: "Well you don't know what it's like to have a 5 year old boy and another child. We are working with him."
Me: "What I do know is that it is my job to protect my own child, and that I am responsible for what happens to her. As you should be for your children."
Her: "You don't know what it's like! He is a five year old boy!"
Me: "Then you need to not turn your back on him. Otherwise you need some help!"
I walked away with my daughter, as clearly this mom was missing the point.

Look, I get that kids have to learn things. And I also don't believe anyone at 5 years old can be that evil. But seriously, turning your back on your child's bad behavior? All I heard from this mom's reasoning was, "I can't handle being a parent." Honestly - if you can't be somewhere and be responsible for BOTH of your children, you either should not have left the house, or you need to bring another adult with you to help. There is no excuse for not being aware of (or worse, IGNORING) what your children are doing, especially when out in public.

About 5 minutes later the little boy came up to us and apologized for spraying us in the face with the water. I guess Mom thought I was right after all. I thanked him, left my daughter with my husband, and went to smooth things over.

I walked back up to the mom, told her I appreciated her sending her son over, and I was sorry I raised my voice. She then got back on her defensive soapbox and starting moaning about how "I don't know what it's like" and then I knew I shouldn't have bothered. Poor little boy - it's going to be a rough ride with that woman.

So - would you have handled it any differently? I would love to hear it!

Repeat, Repeat, Repeat

Last week I posted about our issues with separation anxiety, and I am happy to report they are getting much better. Though now that I'm more confident in what it takes to get this to work, I'm scared to rock the boat (read: different daycare lady on Fridays/weekends that doesn't know our "process").

So here are some of the factors that play into my child being happy enough to leave in the gym daycare for 90 minutes:

1. Transitional item: This was the best piece of advice I received from my mom friends when I posted our daycare drama on Facebook. (We are all guilty of venting on Facebook once in awhile right? This is actually, in my opinion, one of the primary reasons to have it - a quick way to get personalized advice from those who have been there, done that, and know you. Anyway...) The transitional item suggested was a snack, which might have worked great, but since this is just a gym daycare and not a full-blown regular daycare, I wasn't really comfortable with her having food in this place (they probably felt the same way). So instead we brought in a small white bear, "Baby Bear", as her friend to keep her company.
2. Someone to play with: We go to the gym in the morning, which is the only time that works with our nap schedule and the daycare availability. Not to mention the rush hour shift (5-8pm) can have two dozen kids in there with ONE adult. No thanks. A CUTE little boy started going to the gym daycare in the morning so it seems to help if there is a little friend for Bugga to play with when she gets there.
3. A special toy: My daughter has developed an obsession for purses. No joke. Not sure if she's just mimicking Mommy or just NEEDS to have something slung over a wrist, but she takes a purse everywhere. And the gym daycare has one for her to carry around too. Oh and the daycare lady also hands her a little baby doll wrapped in a blanket which Bugga promptly tosses into a grocery cart and pushes around the room. But I digress.
4. Leaving: OK I am still waiting for all the above distractions to keep her happy long enough that I can back out of the room. I am scared to say good bye at this point, just to remind her I am leaving and start the tears. It helps to know that she is fine when I leave now (I peek), and when I come back to get her, she lights up when she sees me, and blows kisses to the daycare lady as we head out. So she is clearly having fun in there.

We've made a LOT of progress in the past week, and I am very proud of my little kiddo. It would have been so much easier to just give up and work out at home when she naps and not put her through all this, but then what kind of parent is THAT? Obviously I can't keep her at home with me forever (I wish!) and the benefit of staying home with her is I have the flexibility in my schedule that I can be patient with her need for adjustment time. I feel it is my job, and honestly my preference, to help her through this.

The gym uses one woman most of the week (Mon-Thurs) for the morning daycare, and then Friday and Saturday are two different women. And right now, this is reason enough for me to not have to workout on Fri-Sat because I'm scared to rock the boat this week! Maybe next week she'll be established enough to have a new variable in her morning plans. Kids love a routine, so I just need to stick with it.

The Right Kind of Socialization

At almost 10 months, Bugga is finally making the age cut for various activities. She is now old enough to attend classes that will cater to any interest she has in music, gymnastics, singing, stories, etc., but mostly these are great for socialization. As a stay-at-home mom, my child does not have the opportunity to interact with other babies unless I schedule this time. 

Bugga waving at Mom

I find it funny when I think about my natural reaction to certain social situations. Waiting in line at the grocery store is an easy place to observe other kids shopping with their parents. As eager as I am for my daughter to observe other babies and children interacting with the world around them, I would prefer to block her view from the horrid behavior we typically see! Ugh, the tantrums and Energizer-Bunny-ness.

Since my kiddo is so young, I suppose those times will come eventually for me, but right now I will enjoy the compliments I get because, "She is so quiet and well-behaved!" My daughter is very much still in her Observer stage. (Sidenote - is this a stage? She has always been one to watch everything, and never misses a detail.) You can always see her little brain ticking away as she thinks about how to react to what she is watching.

Gymnastics, on the other hand, is exhilarating!!!