Don't Bet On It

The first time Bugga met her little sister Bella

Back in December when I was nearing my due date for baby #2, I had tons of questions about the upcoming childbirth experience. I knew that if things went exactly as they had for baby #1, then I'd be thrilled (and relaxed, since I'd know what was coming). Unfortunately, outside of a scheduled c-section (and even still) childbirth is ALL about the unknown. Below are some questions I had while I waited to feel the build-up of the first contraction, and how things worked out in my case.

1. Will the baby come early/on time/late?

My first was 4 days late. They say on average that babies come earlier and earlier with each labor. However talk to ANYone who has had a baby and it seems to me the verdict is split. This baby came 6 days late. So there ya go.

2. Will I go into labor on my own?

I went into labor naturally with my first. As I was sitting around on Friday night, 5 days late, I feared I would have to be induced. Even worse, it would be scheduled for Christmas Day. I dreaded the thought of a) my toddler missing out on Christmas morning traditions the year she is finally starting to understand, and b) my poor second born would have a holiday birthday and forever hate the fact that people would always be giving her combo presents. I went into labor naturally that night, and Bella was born 6 days late, with no induction.

3. Will my labor start the same way as it did the first time?

The first time around, my contractions started as a dull pulsing at 9 AM already coming every 3 minutes, and lasting about a minute for the first hour. Then things intensified and I had the baby later that day. This time around, my contractions started around 10 PM, lasting anywhere from 30 seconds to a minute, and coming anywhere from every 5 minutes to every 30 minutes. They were all over the place. This was a bit stressful since second babies can come a lot faster than the first. So of course during these hours of initial labor I had inspriring visions of birthing this baby in our car on the way to the hospital. Totally not a cause for concern at all. Right. Anyway, these random contractions went on through the night, never building enough in intensity or frequency enough for us to feel like we needed to head to the garage until about 6 AM. And then things started to move very quickly...

4. Will it hurt more/less the second time?

So it definitely hurt the first time. I labored at home as long as I could (5 hours) and then once we made it to the hospital I was ready for my epidural. I dilated pretty fast so that was the best decision I made all day, and the baby was born 3 hours after I received the epi. This time I thought I'd entertain the thought (ha) of doing this unmedicated, figuring it might hurt less since my first baby had already blazed the path down the birth canal. Yeah, right. When I got to the hospital at 8 AM I was a whole 2 cm dilated. The nurse in triage told me to go walk around for two hours. I was disappointed, but the second my feet hit the ground from her examination, my body had other plans and I dilated three more centimeters almost instantly. And WHOA BOY did that hurt. Yep, I was the screamer in Triage. Sorry, other pregnant people in the room. This time around, however, though I asked for the epidural around the same time in my dilation progression as I did with the first baby, the nurse had a painfully hard time getting my IV in, which has to be done first. Painfully is what I mean literally, as she stuck needles up and down my hands and arms, jabbing me until she finally found one that worked. And at that point I was fully dilated. She asked if I was sure I still wanted the epidural. Oh yes, I had earned it from the IV disaster. 

5. Will it again take forever for my milk to come in, resulting in my baby having jaundice?

With Bugga, it took 4 very long days for my milk to come in. Babies are built with fat storage to cover this amount of time (along with the colostrum), but after four days the billirubin had still yet to be flushed from her system and she became jaundiced. For first-time parents, this was somewhat terrifying. We were lucky enough that Bugga did not have to spend any time in the hospital under the lights, but she did have a bilirubin blanket delivered to our home that she spent 48 hours straight wearing. She looked like a little baby glow-worm. The second time around my milk came in after two days, so though Bella's jaundice numbers climbed for a couple days, the availability of milk to help flush her system seemed to have helped her ward off the jaundice successfully.

6. How fast will I deliver my second baby?

I heard from many (many) people that their second baby came so fast that they delivered in the hallway, had no time for an epidural, and/or their spouse had to play the role of the obstetrician because they were nowhere near a hospital. So of course I entertained the thought that we'd need towels and such for the car ride just in case. I was in labor with Bugga for 11 hours, from the first contraction to seeing her little pink face. With Bella, using the same milestones, it was around 16 hours. From point of arrival to the hospital, it was about 6 hours for both.

So this is how it worked for me, and not many of my questions could have been answered with "just like the first time". It seems that each of my children are completely unique and different, and these differences start from the date of conception!

Nap Breakthrough!

Holy naptime, batman.

After almost 10 months of nursing my daughter to sleep for every bedtime and nap, and then holding her in my lap (thankfully she's been tired enough at night to lay into the crib), we have broken this habit!

Bugga has been a light sleeper for quite awhile. Yes, every newborn will sleep anywhere with any level of noise, but our kiddo grew out of this phase very quickly. Sometime around two months old, she would be easily startled if I turned the car engine off after nodding off during a drive, or woken by the floor creaking if I crept past her bouncer. Realizing she desperately needed more nap time in order to maintain healthy development, I started to nurse her to sleep and then hold her in my lap, barely moving, so she could log some valuable sleep hours.

Her naps started at 20-30 minutes here and there, but soon extended to up to almost 3 hours! I was thrilled, but this meant a lot of butt-in-the-glider time for me. I love to cuddle my little girl, but besides this being precious time that I could use to be productive around the house, if she ever wanted to change sleeping positions, my lap was not conducive to this and any movement she made would lead to her waking up and not getting the full nap she needed. It's been a long ten months for nap challenges around here.

I needed to teach her how to nap in her crib.

I read several books over the previous months on sleep training so I referenced these now to figure out what could be done. The catch is that this wasn't a straight issue of nursing to sleep, since most who do this, do this all night long. We had night-weaned back at 5 weeks or so when Bugga started sleeping through the night. She also could be laid down in her crib at night still awake but drowsy, and roll over and go to sleep. So I knew she had some soothing skills. But I knew I wanted her to a) do this for naps without freaking out (which had been the result if I ever tried before this), and b) be able to put herself back to sleep if she woke up at night (bonus!).

OK so I just went cold turkey on the naps in the crib, figuring I'd give it a try for a week. I was scared to death I would simultaneously ruin bedtime by putting a fear of the crib into my child. I put her down at her scheduled times, twice a day, after nursing. At first there was crying and protesting. I'd lay her down with the lights off (closet light on for a slight light), white noise on, leave the room and close the door. She would begin to cry as I left the room. I watched her on the video monitor for five minutes. She sometimes would sit up or stand up while crying. After five minutes I went back in and offered her the pacifier, laid her back down, rubbed her back for about 2 minutes, then left again. I repeated this until she finally fell asleep.

I started last week on Monday, and by this past Monday (8 days later!), I feel she is officially comfortable with falling asleep on her own. Out of the 14 nap windows during this time, she cried anywhere from 0 to 50 minutes before falling asleep. The 50 minute scenarios happened only (gulp) twice, and although I continued the checks, the second time this happened I just picked her up and moved on - no nap that time. Sometimes she would let out a couple whimpers and/or just nod off; sometimes she'd cry for 5 minutes then be out. And the strange thing is there was no rhyme or reason for which option would happen when. But now she will pretty much go down without freaking out at all (yay!!) and sleep anywhere from 50 minutes until 3 hours (and we had to wake her up from that one). She really is getting better sleep this way, and my husband and I are getting some kid-free time on the weekends which is completely new to us.

If you are struggling with this scenario, I am happy to answer any questions!

Engineering Parenting

My husband and I are both engineers. Because of this, we approach everything with a heavy dose of logic like the whole world is a math problem. Even parenting apparently.

Bugga's schedule has been pretty steady lately, and she's been nursing and eating solids well, sleeping through the night consistently, and even getting almost 3 hours of naps a day. Then there was last night. We normally nurse her to sleep (I know, I know) around 8:15ish, and she's typically out like a light at 9:05 PM. Not last night.

Last night she was wide awake. Not interested in sleeping whatsoever and just stood up in her crib happy as a clam unless we left the room, and then she cried. This went on for hours. It was awesome. Oh and it was my husband's birthday. So no cake for us.

We spent those three hours in my daughter's room analyzing what had gone wrong that day. Should we have not switched up the pajamas? She didn't need a bath after dinner (for once) that night, did we throw off her bedtime routine? Did she nap enough during the day (yes)? Did I have caffeine? Like a math problem, we figured we had somehow switched up the equation and it resulted in bedtime chaos. Unfortunately in this exercise, anything that DID go wrong (we still don't know what) fell into my lap, as I am the one who spends my days with her. Sigh. No more math tonight please...

Baby Schedule (8, 9, 10 Months)

I thought it would be a good idea to share our latest schedule. I think the last time I posted about the details was way back when I was first planning on being a Stay at Home Mom. Well, to say the least, things are different now. For one, my kiddo is 5 months older. (WHOA! I've been doing this for FIVE months already?!?) Also, I was a little clueless as to what was realistic as far as scheduling goes. So if you want a good laugh, please check out how I thought we'd be spending our weeks.

We've hit a good stride lately, and as long as we stick. to. the. schedule. everything is great. WOW do babies need a schedule. We've tried to put her to bed a little later some nights when we are caught out of the house when a family activity runs late, and we pay for it. The biggest problem ends up being a cranky baby - but the worst result has been a baby that is overtired and either will not go to sleep until several hours later, or wakes up several times throughout the night.

I know that some baby experts recommend that babies be eating 3 meals of solids a day at this age (several others leave this open-ended as "food is for fun, until after one"), however we are still just at 2 meals a day. Honestly - we spend sooo much time nursing, eating solids, and napping that there is hardly time for anything else during the day. As it stands, we pretty much have time to leave the house once a day, so we have to use our errand/activity time wisely. If we are out somewhere for lunch during the day (that does not involve a drive-thru) I have Cheerios handy to keep Bugga from turning green from food jealousy. And they make for easy cleanup.

Also, we are currently on two naps, with the longest one being in the late morning. The second nap is a little harder to come by, and lately it's usually done in the car on the way back from somewhere. My formerly very "green" self has vaporized in order to keep my child napping, and since she wakes if I try to move her, I have spent a lot of time sitting in my garage (door open!) with the air-conditioning/heat running.

I feel like it would be useful to post our schedules from previous months, and since I am still logging everything in my Total Baby app, I will go back in the next week or two and pull the schedules from Bugga's previous ages.

Schedule Challenges Continue

It's been a couple weeks since I've posted...but I have two good reasons, I promise. For one, we have been in the process of moving, so for obvious reasons, I have not spent a lot of time with my laptop. The other reason is that prior to the move, our household had been having some significant challenges with Bugga's sleep schedule and her ability to put herself to sleep.

I've definitely allowed myself to fall victim to the anxiety that comes with the lack of sleep of a new parent. I blame myself for my husband and I essentially sitting in the dark and whispering once the baby has gone to bed in fear of waking her up. Yes, our (old) house had frustratingly creaky floors and air duct issues that required our room to be at 65 in order for hers to approach 74, but I think my personal fear of a crying infant at night has really escalated.

Now that we have been in the new house for a little over a week, we are still hesitant to formally sleep train. The new nursery is carpeted and cozy and a great place for Bugga to play, so the thought of putting her down awake in her crib to sleep makes me worry that she will instantly sprout negative associations with that room entirely. So I am still continuing to cheat by nursing her to sleep at night, and for naps. The pro to this is at least this house is a lot quieter so I have even had a few opportunities since we've moved in to set her down on the boppy pillow on the floor, turn the baby monitor camera on her, and leave the room to actually be...wait for it...PRODUCTIVE. It's a nice feeling. But I still spend half that time watching the monitor. Sigh.

Sleep Stress

I've noticed lately that I have a little anxiety in the evenings regarding what that night will bring for sleep for the house. My husband has been out of town for business for the past 4 nights (only two more to go!!) and it has been challenging to say the least.

As I mentioned previously, Bugga is a pretty decent sleeper at night, but can't nap for crap. I take equal responsibility for this so I'm working on my parenting skills (back to that MBA in Baby thing again!). I still am in the habit of tracking all her diapers, sleep time and nursing time via my Total Baby app on my iPhone so I am well aware how much sleep she is (not) getting.

The first few mornings my husband was gone, Bugga decided that 5am had the most exciting events taking place, and she was not about to sleep through it. Ugh. I am not a morning person. Neither is my husband. We are hoping neither is our daughter, but, well...there's still hope for the future I suppose. I'm guessing this is tied to minimal sleep time during the day that results in her being overtired and having trouble keeping the longer stretches at night.

So by last night, I was so scared she'd wake up super early, and just never go back to sleep. I had her on track with feedings at least all day so I could get them all in with her going to bed a little sooner than usual. I have heard the phrase "sleep begets sleep" so WOW was I hoping this was right. But I was stressed out.

Usually I'll nurse her a bit before I put her in her sleep sack and then lay her in her crib. After that full meal she is typically pretty exhausted so it's all we can do to keep her eyes open until she sets her head to the mattress. But not last night...ugh the instant sweat on the back of my neck when I heard her fussing over the baby monitor as I finished shoveling down my dinner so I could go to bed immediately and stock up on my own sleep.

But then something miraculous happened - she fussed for about 10 minutes, with it never really making it to a cry and then ALL THE NOISES STOPPED. Had she really just put herself to sleep? I waited another 10 minutes before tempting fate and then snuck into the nursery. Yep, there she was, arms splayed over her head, out cold. Oh, the pride I felt that moment.

I did go to bed shortly after in case this was a fluke. I heard her singing at 2am (and LOVED THAT!), fussing at 5am and 6am - but each time she soother herself back to sleep. She woke for the day at 7:15am. I'll say that last night was a Total Win.

And tonight is a new night. But hopefully I feel a little less stress, to be replaced by a little more confidence in The Bugga.

Feed Me

My daughter has been exclusively breastfed since birth, and somehow, fortunately, we are still going strong 4.5 months in. (This is absolutely NOT a blog about the best way to feed your child – I say to each her own, and only you know whether breastmilk or formula works for your little one.)

The main challenge I have at this point is trying to fit in 6 full feedings throughout a day, when a baby this age is also supposed to be sleeping 12 hours or so at night (and just so we're clear, that also isn't happening). We strive for a meal every 3 hours starting from the time we wake up, but by the end of the day we are on 2-hour cycles just to be sure we fit them all in before bed. I constantly feel like I am falling behind schedule throughout the day. It’s exhausting. 

I am trying out a variation in my schedule where I front load a couple of my 2-hour cycles first thing in the morning. This way if we should be so lucky that she does nap later on, she doesn’t need to miss a meal in exchange for sleep. She does not nurse overnight, so there are no bonus feedings.

How do you make it work??

First Road Trip

My in-laws live about 4 states over, which amounts to about a 10 hour drive, sans infant. Being a new parent, I have noticed myself walking through a new event to understand how we would deal with possible issues as they arise, and then plan ahead accordingly. The biggest challenge I could see for a long roadtrip was Bugga’s feeding schedule. How does she get the meals she needs without us completely doubling our travel time?

My daughter is exclusively breastfed, though she does take a bottle like a champion. The problem is I have recently determined I am crap at pumping in the car. I’m not sure if it is the stress of the overall situation, or just the stress of manipulating the pump and all the annoying parts, but I have trouble producing much more than 3 oz and that does not a full meal make. So we compromised for this one once we got on the road. I pumped for two meals’ worth in between nursings, and I’d nurse while my husband would go in and sit down at a restaurant to enjoy food I typically detest (Waffle House, anyone?). Then I get to pick anything with a drive-thru and we make the most of our travel time. Not bad – but next time we should definitely check flights.

The other challenge with extended road travel is how much time my daughter needs to spend in her car seat. And she was great! In fact, as I had actually hoped, her daytime napping improved because, well basically she had no choice. Well, I guess she did have a choice – she could have screamed the whole way and she didn’t, so for that I am greatly proud of her. I’m typing this with about 5 hours left of the return trip so we’ll see how this affects her nap schedule when we’re back to normal tomorrow.

First plane trip in 3 weeks! Now I need to envision all the scenarios that come with that trip...