Listmania: How to Survive Two Kids - Life with a Newborn and a Toddler

When I was pregnant with my second child, I spent a lot of time trying to wrap my head around the logistics of parenting two children at two very different stages of life. It's amazing how much a couple years between kids can mean a world of variation in needs, schedules, meals, preferences, abilities...the list goes on and on. I searched the internet trying to find advice from moms who had been there, but found there really was a shortage of practical information that I could put to use. I am starting this post 7 months into my life with two kids, and though I'm sure it is different for everyone, I think I have a perspective that can hopefully help others out there who are wondering how the heck they will get through this part of parenting. Maybe this will help...

Surviving Two Kids - Life with a Newborn and a Toddler

1. If you still have time before your second child arrives, do some preparation. I'm not talking about setting up the crib - I'm talking about sanity preparation. Start talking to your toddler about the new baby, and include terms like, "patience" and "fragile". 
2. Get your hands on as many big sibling books that you can find - we found "I'm a Big Sister" (brother version also available), as well as "Waiting For Baby" and "You and Me". These all show what life with a new baby will be like and should help immensely once the baby comes home.
3. Start stockpiling quiet toys that can be kept in special bins throughout your house. These can be used by your toddler during baby naptimes, nursing sessions, or when Mom just needs 15 minutes of silence (or almost silence anyway). Include items like books to read, crayons and coloring books, or quiet books (here's my version). To make the boxes even more exciting, only let your toddler use them when you need the quiet time.
4. Keep emergency items all over the place. I have a gallon-size ziploc in my car, my husband's car, and in my way-too-big-to-be-trendy purse. In these bags I have a will-not-be-missed change of clothes for each kid, a diaper for each kid, wipes, a disposable changing pad and a disposable diaper trash bag. At this point I do still use a diaper bag, but it stays in the car and I just pull things from it when I need too.
5. I always keep the following in my purse: A toddler-applicable snack. Stickers and crayons. An old (hopefully charged) smartphone loaded with whatever is the latest and greatest area of interest. I promise you will get caught somewhere, or need to buy some extra toddler happiness when the baby needs attention while you are running errands. A box of raisins always makes my older daughter happy when I need an extra 20 minutes to get everyone through a doctor appointment.
6. Solicit your toddler for help with the baby. This has been huge for us, and Bugga loves to feel important. Even at 2.5 she is able to bring me things like a baby blanket, a clean outfit for the baby, etc. if I just ask her. 
7. Grocery shopping with one kid was a breeze compared to two. In case you didn't learn this the first time around, your baby's car seat DOES NOT go on top of the shopping cart. Ever. And unless you are at Costco, the car seat will likely not fit inside the cart either, especially if you plan on actually shopping for anything, and definitely if your toddler is sitting in the kid seat. This is where the sling/baby carrier serves its purpose. Oh, and don't forget to park right next to the cart return.
8. Speaking of the baby carrier...that thing will come in handy a lot. I wore it all over the house. So did my husband, as for awhile that was the only place Bella would nap. (We do not miss those days AT. ALL.) I also wore it a lot outside of the house - besides shopping, it allowed me to still keep Bugga enrolled in her gymnastics class. She isn't quite old enough for a non-parented class, but I can't have the baby in the infant seat while Bugga is in class. But the sling was no big deal. And Bugga really needs that gymnastics class for a myriad of reasons, so I am so glad I did not have to suspend that from our schedule.
9. If your toddler doesn't use a sound machine, I would consider it at this point. My kids both have sound machines which are priceless tools when both at home and traveling. And now that you will have a new baby potentially screaming at all hours, a sound machine can muffle that sound so at least SOMEONE in your house can get some sleep.
10. Know that this chaotic mess of a life will not last forever. There will be tears of happiness and frustration several times over as you learn to adjust to everything. That first year of your child's life is HARD on a mom. And add a second (or third, or fourth) kid to it, and everything escalates. But your family will evolve into something that works for everyone.

*Note: For some reason I wrote this post and never published it, and I just found it now that my second child is 14 months old. I am happy to say we survived the first year (as you will) and things are definitely easier nowadays that we all know each other much better and have adjusted to life outside the womb. Hang in there!

And just like that...

We are moving back to Texas! After what has been one of the longest winters on record (at least according to all the Calgarians I keep talking to) we are leaving just as it finally stops snowing...and then just in time for the sticky triple-digits of Houston.

Seriously - I JUST posted my toddler's room reveal and WHAM I have to take it all down. And I haven't even shown you what I did with my newborn's nursery yet! I'm planning to just recreate the same designs in the new house so I will do an update post as well. I will need to reorder a lot of the decals since they weren't reusable (ugh, what a waste!) but they are so much easier than painting. I say they were a waste because I know for a fact there are reusable decals available (I found some for the girls' bathroom) even though they look great, but they are hard to find.

Anyway, so we are currently trying to survive between homes. We had a disastrous week last week in a hotel in Calgary as our house was packed and cleaned, and now we are in corporate housing until our furniture gets to town. I say disastrous because as much as we were SO very fortunate to stay in a two-bedroom suite with a toddler and a baby, NOBODY slept all week, naps, nights, whatever. The baby was up every 2 hours, the toddler decided she couldn't stay in her bed even though we set everything up PERFECTLY...and I was a ZOMBIE!

The crazy thing is I had been dreading our four-hour flight down (Bella's first flight) and made massive preparations as far as entertainment for Bugga, packing perfectly, etc. and it ended up being the easiest flight in the history of parenting. At least for this family.

And things have only improved since we landed. Our corporate housing apartment complex has three bedrooms (win), a playground (win), and a splash pad (super win). And Bella is just coming out of a growth spurt which means she's slept 8 plus hours the past few nights, allowing me to gain a little of my sanity back.

I think the spurt's over though so tonight could be back to 2 feeds a night which isn't awesome but tolerable...and soon we get to start solids so that might improve things as well.

Anyway, time to get back into the swing of things here - YEE-HAW! Yeah.

Easter Egg-tivities

I had great plans for Easter this year as far as toddler activities go. Then my newborn started sleeping (or rather NOT sleeping) even more horribly, and my husband needed to go out of town for work for the third time in four weeks. So basically most of this past week leading up to the Easter Bunny's visit is now a bit of a blur.

Somewhere in there I managed to put together two brain cells on occasion to find some activities for Bugga to do that were Easter-related. I found some great printable activities online that were both Easter-relevant as well as educational, but not too old for her as a lot of Preschool printables tend to be.

Here's Bugga working on the Egg Matching Activity, which she shocked me by immediately being a whiz at. This explains why her strongest skill with folding laundry is matching her socks!

Here's the Carrot Activity that involves Bugga trying to figure out which big letter matches which little letter. This was a new way of thinking about the letters, as we have not really introduced "little" letters yet. This was our introduction.

These printable activities can be found here.

And of course, I planned to get in some egg decorating. We had a great time last year when Bugga was 15 months old so of course I was optimistic. I saw an adorable idea online that involved rolling the eggs in polenta - I had planned on using colored coconut - but that was a massive fail. The "egg wash glue" was not at all a glue so it was just a big mess. Apparently I forgot the sugar, which, logically is the sticky part. Oops.

While we were waiting for the eggs to dry to see if the coconut would stick, my toddler got impatient with the waiting, so I improvised with some plastic eggs and a glue gun.

Once I knew that the textured eggs weren't happening this year, I washed off the remaining coconut, and just went with the infamous drop-in-the-colored-water coloring. Then I just used my glue gun to attach the googly eyes and bunny/chick appendages. What I learned: If you use a glue gun on an egg that just came out of the refrigerator, the glue will be chilled and dry before you attach whatever it is you're trying to glue to the egg. Another oops. So here is the motley crew of eggs that we ended up with.

Let's just say I am looking forward to making egg salad tomorrow.

I hope everyone had a nice Easter!

Tips For Traveling With a Baby/Toddler

I need a vacation. Like, immediately. However, going on a vacation today means now managing the logistics of traveling with TWO children. As I'm trying to wrap my head around how to possibly climb this mountain, I thought I'd offer my advice on how to travel with one child under the age of two. Bugga traveled almost 25,000 air miles in her first year of life, and many of those miles included family vacations (we also moved to Alaska for a bit so those miles are a chunk of her total). Either way, we got to be seasoned parent travelers and lived to tell the tale.

Here's how we did it:
1.) Always bring a stroller. You will need this at some point. Even if you are totally into the baby-wearing thing (bring your sling too!) - the stroller carries both your child, and all of your child-related STUFF. And your stuff. And lunch to go in the airport. You get my point. When Bugga was still in the baby bucket we used this stroller, which I cannot recommend enough. You can even open and close it with one hand and it has a huge basket. When she was no longer in the bucket we used this stroller, which comes with a travel bag (for checking) and is still in great condition now after 1.5 years of a LOT of airports.

2.) Always bring a car seat. Sure you can get away with not bringing a car seat. But if you are traveling anywhere other than New York City or somewhere similar (and then plan to limit your transportation to subway or foot) your child should be strapped into their car seat. No, you won't get arrested for trying to get into a cab with an infant without a car seat, but if you get in an accident (and you KNOW how the cabbies drive) you will regret it. There are car seats on the market that double as strollers. Or you can get a backpack to carry the car seat in while you go through the airport (if baby isn't in the bucket already). Make sure you have a cover either way so the seat isn't nasty if you end up gate checking it.

3.) If traveling by plane, check your baby gear at the gate, NOT at check-in. Yep, you can check your baby items for free in both areas. Maybe you think it's a pain to drag all these things through the airport, especially if you don't have a ticketed seat for your baby and won't be using the car seat until you arrive at your destination. Doesn't matter. When you gate check these items, they are out of your sight and have a chance to be damaged by someone else for a mere MINUTES before they are put underneath the plane. Hand them over at check-in and they are out of your sight for potential HOURS that someone might drop or damage your goods in any number of ways that are undetectable to you when you pick them up at Baggage Claim. You will regret this too.

4.) Pick your flight carefully. If you are booking early enough, pick a time that coincides with the time your child sleeps. I now prefer red-eye flights with my child because I KNOW she will sleep then. We ran out of luck after awhile booking during nap time because it was just too exciting for her to sleep, and then we had NO nap. Not my preferred way to vacation. And avoid layovers whenever you can. Just GET THERE.

5.) Pick your seats on the airplane even more carefully. If your flight isn't overbooked, you might be able to avoid paying for a ticket for your baby, then find a row with an empty seat. Gate agents will even move you to a row with an empty seat if you ask nicely because they know as well as anyone that no one wants to sit next to a baby on a plane. Don't be offended - use this to your advantage. And try to get these seats next to a bathroom so you aren't waiting behind 5 other people who got there first when your kid has a loaded diaper. If your child is moving around on his own and can maybe even stand and walk, get bulkhead seats, so you have the extra space in front of you. My daughter loved to sit in her own "space" once we reached cruising altitude and didn't have to be constrained.

6.) If budget allows, book a suite at a hotel. A lot of inexpensive hotel chains nowadays have suites for great rates. It pays (in dollars and sanity) to do your research. A suite gives you the freedom to not be sitting with your spouse in the dark when your child is sleeping. And remember how much they sleep, day and night. With a suite you can essentially set your separate room up as a nursery and keep it dark, use white noise, etc.

7.) What if you can't book a suite? It happens for any number of reasons, but you can still survive. (First world problems, I know.) First, try to get a balcony. We didn't feel like forking over the hundreds of extra dollars on our Hawaii vacation with Bugga so the next best thing was a balcony where my husband and or I could hang out while the baby took naps. I spent plenty of relaxing vacation name with a book, a cocktail, and a view all while Bugga napped safely just mere feet from me in total darkness in our room.

8.) What if you can't book a suite OR a room with a balcony? Here's what you need to add to your luggage: a dark-colored, full-size (or bigger) flat bedsheet, two command hooks that can hold as much weight as possible, and a couple chip-style clips. Use these to drape over the hotel crib you stick in the corner of the room to create a dark area for your child when she sleeps. The command hooks (attach them to the wall) and clips hold up the sheet, and the hooks can be taken down later when you leave. You still need to be quiet in the room, but it's nice not to need to be in darkness. Now you and your spouse can at least watch a movie with headphones on the iPad or something. Wink, wink. Oh, and don't forget crib sheets from home.

9.) Bring a white noise machine. I mentioned it above, but this is an essential piece of kid gear in my book. Even if you don't use one at home, outside noises can be unpredictable when traveling (especially in hotel hallways) so if you can block out anything that might disrupt your child's sleep, your life is better! How many times have you been stuck in a hotel that has construction going on above or below your room?

10.) Baby's gotta eat. If your child is eating solids, don't forget to grab a banana from the breakfast buffet to have in the diaper bag later. Boxes of raisins travel well too. Kids under 3 usually eat at buffets for free, so take advantage of that. And don't forget to ask your server what the chef is able to do. We ordered plain pasta with olive oil off the menu from a higher-end Italian restaurant when we were there for their breakfast so we could have lunch ready to go later for our daughter. Oh, and bring bowls with lids to refrigerate any leftovers so you always have something. (Most hotel rooms have a refrigerator lately, I have noticed.)

I have tons of other suggestions for all parts of travel if anyone has any additional questions. Also, if anyone wants to offer up any tips for traveling with more than one kid I am ALL EARS!

Ummm

So colic is fun...

Second Kid Stress

So here I am, trucking along into my 25th week of pregnancy with Baby #2. That puts us into viability range, which of course, is a nice relief of a milestone. In only a few short weeks I will be pushed over into the Third Trimester. I am starting to feel the stress of having two children creeping up on me.

I'm sure all toddler and newborn moments
 look like this, right? RIGHT?!?!

I know very well I won't be the first to do it, but I am spending more and more time lately trying to wrap my preggo-brain around the logistics of the first few days/weeks/months of my newborn's life while intermingled with my toddler's day-to-day needs. Looking back on my experiences with my first born, I think about how easy it was from my perspective now (go back and read some old posts and see how much I am rewriting history here) and if I was going to be a first-time mom again (which is impossible), I'd be SO. READY.

But that's not really the case here. As much as I know all to well how it works to have a baby, I know NOTHING about what it is like to have a baby AND A TODDLER. And my freakouts are getting a little bigger by the day.

Of course, we must plan for the hospital stay, and my toddler will not likely enjoy or understand that experience and is best left at home until the baby has arrived. This requires planning, especially since we have no family nearby, are new to our new country and therefore have a limited social network, and well, Bugga has never been away from both her parents at once for longer than an hour in her life. And though I "lucked out" last time by only being in labor during daylight hours, there's always that chance that I will need to call SOMEONE to high tail it over to the house at 2AM to watch my daughter as we go speeding off to Labor & Delivery.

Once we get home, then at least we will have a couple weeks of man-on-man coverage with both kids since my husband will be home (thanking my uterus for birthing babies during end-of-the-year holidays once again). But once I am left to my own parenting when he goes back to the office, I am trying to wrap my brain around how I will juggle two severely different nap schedules, nursing, and toddler entertainment and activities that will likely require getting out of the house. Did I mention I'll be doing this in the wintertime? In Canada? Yeah, think snow - lots and lots of snow. I'm not even going to entertain my husband's jokes about nursing outside.

What tiny advice I have obtained here and there is that baby #2 (and any baby after that, should we be crazy enough to go for more...uh....forget I typed that) will be required to be much more flexible then we ever gave baby #1 credit for. Gone will be the eerily quiet household when the baby is sleeping. Gone will be the peaceful nursing sessions in the dark in the glider. And a myriad of other things too, I'm sure.

I'm trying to collect more information on how to plan for the changes, but I'm still coming up short for my own comfort. I found an e-book (The ABC's of Baby #2) last night and devoured it at the gym today - helpful but brief. If anyone out there in internet land has any tips, or resources, I am ready!!!

Nap Breakthrough!

Holy naptime, batman.

After almost 10 months of nursing my daughter to sleep for every bedtime and nap, and then holding her in my lap (thankfully she's been tired enough at night to lay into the crib), we have broken this habit!

Bugga has been a light sleeper for quite awhile. Yes, every newborn will sleep anywhere with any level of noise, but our kiddo grew out of this phase very quickly. Sometime around two months old, she would be easily startled if I turned the car engine off after nodding off during a drive, or woken by the floor creaking if I crept past her bouncer. Realizing she desperately needed more nap time in order to maintain healthy development, I started to nurse her to sleep and then hold her in my lap, barely moving, so she could log some valuable sleep hours.

Her naps started at 20-30 minutes here and there, but soon extended to up to almost 3 hours! I was thrilled, but this meant a lot of butt-in-the-glider time for me. I love to cuddle my little girl, but besides this being precious time that I could use to be productive around the house, if she ever wanted to change sleeping positions, my lap was not conducive to this and any movement she made would lead to her waking up and not getting the full nap she needed. It's been a long ten months for nap challenges around here.

I needed to teach her how to nap in her crib.

I read several books over the previous months on sleep training so I referenced these now to figure out what could be done. The catch is that this wasn't a straight issue of nursing to sleep, since most who do this, do this all night long. We had night-weaned back at 5 weeks or so when Bugga started sleeping through the night. She also could be laid down in her crib at night still awake but drowsy, and roll over and go to sleep. So I knew she had some soothing skills. But I knew I wanted her to a) do this for naps without freaking out (which had been the result if I ever tried before this), and b) be able to put herself back to sleep if she woke up at night (bonus!).

OK so I just went cold turkey on the naps in the crib, figuring I'd give it a try for a week. I was scared to death I would simultaneously ruin bedtime by putting a fear of the crib into my child. I put her down at her scheduled times, twice a day, after nursing. At first there was crying and protesting. I'd lay her down with the lights off (closet light on for a slight light), white noise on, leave the room and close the door. She would begin to cry as I left the room. I watched her on the video monitor for five minutes. She sometimes would sit up or stand up while crying. After five minutes I went back in and offered her the pacifier, laid her back down, rubbed her back for about 2 minutes, then left again. I repeated this until she finally fell asleep.

I started last week on Monday, and by this past Monday (8 days later!), I feel she is officially comfortable with falling asleep on her own. Out of the 14 nap windows during this time, she cried anywhere from 0 to 50 minutes before falling asleep. The 50 minute scenarios happened only (gulp) twice, and although I continued the checks, the second time this happened I just picked her up and moved on - no nap that time. Sometimes she would let out a couple whimpers and/or just nod off; sometimes she'd cry for 5 minutes then be out. And the strange thing is there was no rhyme or reason for which option would happen when. But now she will pretty much go down without freaking out at all (yay!!) and sleep anywhere from 50 minutes until 3 hours (and we had to wake her up from that one). She really is getting better sleep this way, and my husband and I are getting some kid-free time on the weekends which is completely new to us.

If you are struggling with this scenario, I am happy to answer any questions!

Engineering Parenting

My husband and I are both engineers. Because of this, we approach everything with a heavy dose of logic like the whole world is a math problem. Even parenting apparently.

Bugga's schedule has been pretty steady lately, and she's been nursing and eating solids well, sleeping through the night consistently, and even getting almost 3 hours of naps a day. Then there was last night. We normally nurse her to sleep (I know, I know) around 8:15ish, and she's typically out like a light at 9:05 PM. Not last night.

Last night she was wide awake. Not interested in sleeping whatsoever and just stood up in her crib happy as a clam unless we left the room, and then she cried. This went on for hours. It was awesome. Oh and it was my husband's birthday. So no cake for us.

We spent those three hours in my daughter's room analyzing what had gone wrong that day. Should we have not switched up the pajamas? She didn't need a bath after dinner (for once) that night, did we throw off her bedtime routine? Did she nap enough during the day (yes)? Did I have caffeine? Like a math problem, we figured we had somehow switched up the equation and it resulted in bedtime chaos. Unfortunately in this exercise, anything that DID go wrong (we still don't know what) fell into my lap, as I am the one who spends my days with her. Sigh. No more math tonight please...

Slave to Silence

I'm not sure if I'm driving myself crazy, or if my craziness is justified. I freak out every time there is a sudden noise at night after my daughter has gone to bed, in fear that the noise will wake her up. What's the big deal, my husband always asks me. Well, for starters, she may not go back to sleep. Like for hours. This has happened almost never, but it IS possible. And guess who has to take care of her the next day on no sleep? That would be me.

It's one thing to take care of Bugga when she's tired and cranky and generally not happy with life. It's a whole different issue if I am feeling the same way. These are NOT good days. And because I know these kinds of days are horrendous, when I feel one of those days coming on, I about lose it.

My anxiety levels sharply escalate at every bark of the neighborhood dog, every creak of a floorboard, every release of the ice machine. My eyes dart to the video monitor to see what damage has been done, and should she not yet have stirred, I watch it carefully with a feeling of doom and confidence that she is SURE to wake at any moment.

And this makes me even more tired than I probably should be. I am probably a lighter sleeper than I have ever been, because I am listening for all those random noises that might disturb her. Why? I can't figure that out. Perhaps because there might be something I can prevent the next time, I don't know.

My poor husband. I snap at him now that we are parents, and most of it happens in these dark hours of the evening when I just want to have some responsibility-free time, but fear waking the baby. Why are guys SO LOUD? How does he not know how crazy I get when I ask him to stop making so much noise, and he just doesn't understand? I don't mean to be so controlling. But lack of sleep seems to make me that way. I'm not proud of it but I need to know how I'm going to get through each day and our household sleep is the primary detail.

But what I can tell you is that I know where every creaking floorboard is in my house. And I am going to lose my mind, I swear it.

Living the Baby Life

I'm pretty sure my husband and I did not realize how much our social lives would change post-baby. Sure, we knew we would be doing more kid-friendly activities, and probably be spending less time in the bar scene. But it never even crossed my mind to think about day vs. night entertainment and how our social time of the day would change.

While pregnant a daydreamed of us introducing Bugga to all our favorite music by spending her first summer picnicking outside amphitheaters so we could bring along all our bulky baby gear and still enjoy the sounds we love. My husband and I talked about how fun it would be to now have an excuse to go see all those great animated movies that are now released every other weekend.


Well here we are, Bugga's first summer, and guess what? Babies have a bedtime. And it is generally before it even GETS dark, so all those summer concerts that normally start at 7pm? Not happening. Oh and taking the baby to the movie theater? Yeah, I didn't even THINK about the volume in those places - apparently it is very dangerous for tiny ears.


So for awhile we are limited to daytime events, squeezed between meals and nap times, and reasonable decibel levels. Gives my husband an excuse to invest in a stellar home movie system.

Happy 4th of July everyone! I'll be catching my fireworks on tv this year!

Tell Me the Truth Already

I've definitely been hitting some low points lately with the sleeping. I just do not function well with no sleep (as opposed to my daughter, who can go all day without a nap like a champ!). After talking to a couple moms I am socially close to, I started getting a little bit frustrated. Why does every stage of parenting have to be described as sunshine and puppies 24/7/365?? This is NOT what I have been experiencing whatsoever. Yes, I always knew it would be hard, but I did not have a clue HOW. HARD. And I'm pretty irritated that no one bothered to let me in on the truth before I had a baby.

Don't get me wrong - I love Bugga more than life. But seriously. Why is this so hard? And why does no one talk about it? I just wanted to know I wasn't alone feeling this way, but no one seemed to want to cop to it in casual conversation.

Then I posted a question to my friends on Facebook just to see the response.

"Could no one have been straight with me about how hard parenting is?"

What I got in return was 29 posts and several private direct messages within the next couple hours. And what do we have here - EVERYONE had been there. And felt equally duped. And some even went on to have more kids!

The information I was finally receiving was invaluable. I am going to anonymously post my friends' comments on this blog now to share with others that are in this same wobbly boat with me in hopes that the "safety in numbers" theory helps you get through one more night of the crying and the not sleeping. But more importantly, I need a way to easily access these words of experience so I can have them handy every time I need a lift, because I know I will again. And again.

Read the first response here. And start talking about this with your friends who are parents.

Edited on March 6th, 2013:
My daughter is now 15 months old - she was about 7-8 months when I first published these words of support from all my fantastic friends. I was at my breaking point with my daughter's sleep training efforts at that time. And now I am one of those moms who made it through the first year, and I am prepared to give any insight I can.

Here is what I find myself telling friends with newborns: You are not the only one who feels this way. We all went through these emotions, even if some of us aren't brave enough to tell you. Your first year of parenting can be a lonely, isolating time, especially if you quit your job and stay home (oh, and move to a small town in Alaska where we know nobody) like I did. The good news is, you, and your baby will survive these hard times, and they will be almost forgotten once you move past them.

Human beings are ugly creatures when they are lacking sleep. Keep talking to your husband, your friends - anyone (I might recommend avoiding the generation before yours - memories seem to be falsely clouded more often than not of how "easy" it was for them). Get out of the house every day, even if it is just for a stroller walk around the block. If you are concerned about your thoughts, please talk to your doctor. Do it at your 6-week post-labor checkup or your 6-month checkup, but do not be ashamed. If you need medication, know your doctor would not prescribe it to you if he/she did not feel it was warranted to help you through this. And you will not need it forever.

You can do this. No, it is nothing like you expected. But the point of it all is EVERYTHING you expected.

Schedule Challenges Continue

It's been a couple weeks since I've posted...but I have two good reasons, I promise. For one, we have been in the process of moving, so for obvious reasons, I have not spent a lot of time with my laptop. The other reason is that prior to the move, our household had been having some significant challenges with Bugga's sleep schedule and her ability to put herself to sleep.

I've definitely allowed myself to fall victim to the anxiety that comes with the lack of sleep of a new parent. I blame myself for my husband and I essentially sitting in the dark and whispering once the baby has gone to bed in fear of waking her up. Yes, our (old) house had frustratingly creaky floors and air duct issues that required our room to be at 65 in order for hers to approach 74, but I think my personal fear of a crying infant at night has really escalated.

Now that we have been in the new house for a little over a week, we are still hesitant to formally sleep train. The new nursery is carpeted and cozy and a great place for Bugga to play, so the thought of putting her down awake in her crib to sleep makes me worry that she will instantly sprout negative associations with that room entirely. So I am still continuing to cheat by nursing her to sleep at night, and for naps. The pro to this is at least this house is a lot quieter so I have even had a few opportunities since we've moved in to set her down on the boppy pillow on the floor, turn the baby monitor camera on her, and leave the room to actually be...wait for it...PRODUCTIVE. It's a nice feeling. But I still spend half that time watching the monitor. Sigh.

Who Fights a Nap?

My 6 month old, that's who. I am currently listening to her WAIL as I try to get her to sleep for Nap #1 of the day. This is SO hard. But I know she's tired. She was rubbing her eyes like the most obvious cartoon character and it was exactly 2 hours from when she woke up. So into the crib she went...and then proceeded to shriek. 

It's been 45 minutes of this misery.

I've checked on her several times, but that does nothing whatsoever. She continues to shriek. I know I'm supposed to listen to her cries to understand what is going on, but it all seems pretty steady. Horrible gurgling. Wailing. Then gasping for breath. I'm not sure if this is the "up and down" cry I'm supposed to recognize as her frustrated cry trying to figure all this out, but my heart is broken.

I know I could just go sit on the back patio and enjoy this beautiful morning weather and not listen to her cry. But I feel like if she has to go through this, I need to be there with her even if she is currently very mad at me for putting her through this.

But I'm going in to get her in 10 minutes and we'll try again next nap. And the next. And the next...

Sigh. Parenting is hard.

Sleep Stress

I've noticed lately that I have a little anxiety in the evenings regarding what that night will bring for sleep for the house. My husband has been out of town for business for the past 4 nights (only two more to go!!) and it has been challenging to say the least.

As I mentioned previously, Bugga is a pretty decent sleeper at night, but can't nap for crap. I take equal responsibility for this so I'm working on my parenting skills (back to that MBA in Baby thing again!). I still am in the habit of tracking all her diapers, sleep time and nursing time via my Total Baby app on my iPhone so I am well aware how much sleep she is (not) getting.

The first few mornings my husband was gone, Bugga decided that 5am had the most exciting events taking place, and she was not about to sleep through it. Ugh. I am not a morning person. Neither is my husband. We are hoping neither is our daughter, but, well...there's still hope for the future I suppose. I'm guessing this is tied to minimal sleep time during the day that results in her being overtired and having trouble keeping the longer stretches at night.

So by last night, I was so scared she'd wake up super early, and just never go back to sleep. I had her on track with feedings at least all day so I could get them all in with her going to bed a little sooner than usual. I have heard the phrase "sleep begets sleep" so WOW was I hoping this was right. But I was stressed out.

Usually I'll nurse her a bit before I put her in her sleep sack and then lay her in her crib. After that full meal she is typically pretty exhausted so it's all we can do to keep her eyes open until she sets her head to the mattress. But not last night...ugh the instant sweat on the back of my neck when I heard her fussing over the baby monitor as I finished shoveling down my dinner so I could go to bed immediately and stock up on my own sleep.

But then something miraculous happened - she fussed for about 10 minutes, with it never really making it to a cry and then ALL THE NOISES STOPPED. Had she really just put herself to sleep? I waited another 10 minutes before tempting fate and then snuck into the nursery. Yep, there she was, arms splayed over her head, out cold. Oh, the pride I felt that moment.

I did go to bed shortly after in case this was a fluke. I heard her singing at 2am (and LOVED THAT!), fussing at 5am and 6am - but each time she soother herself back to sleep. She woke for the day at 7:15am. I'll say that last night was a Total Win.

And tonight is a new night. But hopefully I feel a little less stress, to be replaced by a little more confidence in The Bugga.

Feed Me

My daughter has been exclusively breastfed since birth, and somehow, fortunately, we are still going strong 4.5 months in. (This is absolutely NOT a blog about the best way to feed your child – I say to each her own, and only you know whether breastmilk or formula works for your little one.)

The main challenge I have at this point is trying to fit in 6 full feedings throughout a day, when a baby this age is also supposed to be sleeping 12 hours or so at night (and just so we're clear, that also isn't happening). We strive for a meal every 3 hours starting from the time we wake up, but by the end of the day we are on 2-hour cycles just to be sure we fit them all in before bed. I constantly feel like I am falling behind schedule throughout the day. It’s exhausting. 

I am trying out a variation in my schedule where I front load a couple of my 2-hour cycles first thing in the morning. This way if we should be so lucky that she does nap later on, she doesn’t need to miss a meal in exchange for sleep. She does not nurse overnight, so there are no bonus feedings.

How do you make it work??

Mr. Sandbaby

Ah the coveted sleep of new parents. We miss it so. Then again, I say this all the time, but I know I also need to recognize that we have it SO much easier than it could be. Our daughter started sleeping through the night (we’re talking 8+ hours) at about 5 weeks old – coincidentally starting on New Year’s Eve 2012.

We somewhat knew we were going to get lucky during her first couple weeks of life when we struggled to keep her awake during feedings. Our pediatrician was ready for us to let her sleep as long as she wanted at night as soon as she was back up to her birth weight. I think it takes the average baby 2 weeks; ours needed 3. And once she was back over 8 pounds, we were ready! Good thing, so was she.

Bugga slept great at night for quite awhile, with daytime napping happening here and there, when and where she felt like it. When I went back to work at 12 weeks and she started daycare, it became very clear we needed to focus more on those naps. Even worse, sometime around 14 weeks she started waking up at night too. We verified with our pediatrician that she wasn’t waking to eat since she had previously slept through the night and not needed meals then, so we were careful not to use food as a crutch.

Meanwhile, I started reading every book on sleep training I could find, while constantly fearing the lights on the baby monitor that alerted us to her waking up earlier than desired. I read BabyWise, Lull-a-baby, Your Fussy Baby...and we are now trying to use a combination of all these (and any other ideas, hint hint) to teach our daughter she is capable of soothing herself to sleep without Mom or Dad. Cry it out (CIO) scares me at this age (4 months old), though if this keeps up I might have a different opinion two months from now. I’ll keep you posted on how this goes...

Rolling Over

When Bugga mastered rolling from back to front, all of us were SO proud. That is, until later that night when we found her in her swaddle flipped over onto her stomach against the slats of the crib at 5am. Which of course resulted in hysterics. Not on my watch, buddy!

OK fine, so no more swaddle. She has always been a Baby Houdini and managed to get at least one arm out, so we figured she could handle a regular sleep sack. Except while we thought the problem would be her hands getting in her face, that was not the primary challenge. After mastering this “half roll”, you could not stop her from practicing. We would lie her down on a quilt, and up those legs would go to throw herself over onto her stomach. And then she was stuck because she couldn’t roll back and eventually she would need to put her face down (gasp!).

We spent several hours early one morning repeating a frustrating (and yet somewhat adorable) cycle where I’d lay her on her back in her crib, she would roll right away onto her belly, doze off on her stomach, then stir about 20 minutes later and realize she was on her face, panic, and then scream.

So after scouring the internet at 3am for a fix to this (what DID we ever do without the internet, seriously) my husband and I rigged up a blanket that was tucked into the crib mattress that we would place across her legs, low enough so her hands couldn’t find a way to yank it free. For bonus points, we rolled up a second blanket and placed it by her legs on the side she rolls over on (only one so far!).  After this, she SLEPT. This child looked so cozy, and her four-month regression issues with waking in the night for no reason pretty much evaporated with this. Fist bump. For now anyway.