Repeat, Repeat, Repeat

Last week I posted about our issues with separation anxiety, and I am happy to report they are getting much better. Though now that I'm more confident in what it takes to get this to work, I'm scared to rock the boat (read: different daycare lady on Fridays/weekends that doesn't know our "process").

So here are some of the factors that play into my child being happy enough to leave in the gym daycare for 90 minutes:

1. Transitional item: This was the best piece of advice I received from my mom friends when I posted our daycare drama on Facebook. (We are all guilty of venting on Facebook once in awhile right? This is actually, in my opinion, one of the primary reasons to have it - a quick way to get personalized advice from those who have been there, done that, and know you. Anyway...) The transitional item suggested was a snack, which might have worked great, but since this is just a gym daycare and not a full-blown regular daycare, I wasn't really comfortable with her having food in this place (they probably felt the same way). So instead we brought in a small white bear, "Baby Bear", as her friend to keep her company.
2. Someone to play with: We go to the gym in the morning, which is the only time that works with our nap schedule and the daycare availability. Not to mention the rush hour shift (5-8pm) can have two dozen kids in there with ONE adult. No thanks. A CUTE little boy started going to the gym daycare in the morning so it seems to help if there is a little friend for Bugga to play with when she gets there.
3. A special toy: My daughter has developed an obsession for purses. No joke. Not sure if she's just mimicking Mommy or just NEEDS to have something slung over a wrist, but she takes a purse everywhere. And the gym daycare has one for her to carry around too. Oh and the daycare lady also hands her a little baby doll wrapped in a blanket which Bugga promptly tosses into a grocery cart and pushes around the room. But I digress.
4. Leaving: OK I am still waiting for all the above distractions to keep her happy long enough that I can back out of the room. I am scared to say good bye at this point, just to remind her I am leaving and start the tears. It helps to know that she is fine when I leave now (I peek), and when I come back to get her, she lights up when she sees me, and blows kisses to the daycare lady as we head out. So she is clearly having fun in there.

We've made a LOT of progress in the past week, and I am very proud of my little kiddo. It would have been so much easier to just give up and work out at home when she naps and not put her through all this, but then what kind of parent is THAT? Obviously I can't keep her at home with me forever (I wish!) and the benefit of staying home with her is I have the flexibility in my schedule that I can be patient with her need for adjustment time. I feel it is my job, and honestly my preference, to help her through this.

The gym uses one woman most of the week (Mon-Thurs) for the morning daycare, and then Friday and Saturday are two different women. And right now, this is reason enough for me to not have to workout on Fri-Sat because I'm scared to rock the boat this week! Maybe next week she'll be established enough to have a new variable in her morning plans. Kids love a routine, so I just need to stick with it.

Separation Anxiety Hits Our House

We are currently going on Day 5 (including a weekend) of my husband having to go back to Alaska for a work emergency. I suppose the weekend part is irrelevant, but even a stay at home mom looks forward to the weekend when we can finally do things as a family. Oh, and split the kiddo duties.

Things have been going relatively well with the exception of my brilliant plan to get back into the swing of things again with our daily morning visit to the gym. This worked perfect for us October/November after we first got back from Alaska, but we took off several weeks for a family vacation and some holiday travel.

Oh what a mess we have now. Today was the third day I attempted to drop my 13-month-old off at the gym daycare. She was NOT havin' it. Not one bit. The separation anxiety is apparently at the top of her development milestones right now and it is kicking us in the face. I tried everything, distraction, staying for awhile and playing with her, sneaking out, doing the "I'll be back soon!", etc. If I made it out the door somehow, I would lurk nearby where I could still see and hear, but was out of view of my daughter.

This kid would just WAIL. The poor daycare lady would try to distract her with all the new toys that filled the room, and she would take a breath for a second and look, but then start right up again. I hear about these other children that cry only when their parents are around and then they're fine. Not mine, these three days anyway.

So my workout plans for 2013 are still pretty elusive. I ended up working out at home during nap time, which is nice to have that option, but it isn't quite the same.

Anyone go through this? Any advice? My approach is to keep trying and hope she gets used to it. But in the back of my head, I'm worried she's learning that this place makes her cry. Period.

Project: 2013 Memory Box

I saw a cute and easy idea on Pinterest (of course), so this is my variation of it...

This is a bit of a year-long project, but it is an easy one. Keep a box (or a jar if you go that route) in an easy location, like the kitchen counter, and fill it with fun/happy/touching memories that happen throughout the year. Then, open the box on Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve and relive those great moments with your family.

Memory Box

Supplies Needed:

• cardboard box (I used a recently-emptied Kleenex mini-box - it already has a hole in the top, and reusing is my favorite way to go with trash)
• fun paper
• scotch tape
• hot glue gun
• decorative items (punches, paint pen, etc.) - optional, whatever you have!

Instructions:

1. Wrap the box in the decorative paper like you would a gift box. In my example, I used two different designs (black & white polka dots, and teal & white stripes), and split them over the opening so I did not have to cut too much. Use scotch tape to hold down ends.
2. Since there are now 2 scotch-taped sides, those are the sides I used for the "2013" signs so as to cover up my tape mess. In this example, I used purple cardstock cut to almost cover an entire side, punching out the corners to give it a more tailored look. Then I cut a glittery foam sheet slightly smaller and stuck it straight to the purple paper. I then hot-glued the sign over one scotch-tape side. 
3. Decorate the signs, and boxes, as desired! I might dress mine up some more, but for now, I'm keeping it simple.
4. Add memories throughout the year!
5. On New Year's Eve (or another night at the end of the year), open the box up when your family is together and read each of the memories. This is a great way to remember how the year went, while adding more reasons to celebrate!

New Year...More of the Same!

This is the time of year where people usually make really elaborate plans to be better, do better, live better. And I suppose everyone could use a little personal improvement on some level.

However, thinking this over, I really don't want too much to change in my life. Well, except maybe to slow down the growth of my daughter - she is getting way too big, way too fast. My husband and I are truly loving every minute with her, and with each other, and realize that we are very lucky to have what we do, and to live such full lives.

So my New Year's Resolution for 2013 is to continue to take time every day to really LOOK at my husband and really LOOK at my daughter and acknowledge how I feel in those moments and all the moments before and after.

Oh, and I would also like to resolve to go to bed before midnight on weeknights. I had to get that in there too.

Happy New Year everyone!

How We Can Help

I recently posted about my friend Brian, who lost his daughter, Olivia Engel, last week in the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting. So many people have been touched by this event, because we all know that this very easily could have been anyone's child. We all hurt because of this reality.

But as much as it could have been anyone's child, it wasn't. 

If anyone reading this has been personally touched by Olivia's story and would like to help in some way, here are some ideas:

1. Send your thoughts and prayers to Olivia's family by posting words of support on a Facebook page that some of my friends set up for this purpose. It can be found by clicking here. 

2. Make a Paypal donation that will go directly to Shannon & Brian Engel, Olivia's parents, to help with the burden of funeral costs, as well as a potential memorial for Olivia and all the victims. I can personally vouch for this PayPal account (if that helps at all??) because I know the people who set this account up for the Engels. You can make a donation here.

3. Mail a card, a letter, a prayer, a care package, Christmas presents for Olivia's 3-year-old brother or anything else heartfelt to the Engel family at the following address:

P.O. Box 697
Botsford, CT 06404

If you would like to send a donation this way, please make your check out to The Engel Family.

4. As you may have heard, the children who attend Sandy Hook Elementary will not be returning to that location for quite awhile, if ever. An available elementary school one town over in Monroe, Connecticut is being prepared for these students to return to their classes in January. 

To welcome the students back to school, and to help them know they are in a safe, loving and happy environment, there is a campaign to create a Winter Wonderland with thousands of paper snowflakes. This Snowflake Drive is being coordinated by the PTAs for the Newtown Schools. If you would like to contribute your snowflakes, please mail them to the following address by January 12th, 2013 to:

Connecticut PTSA
60 Connolly Parkway
Building 12, Suite 103
Hamden, CT 06514

5. An independent family photographer who does not know the victims personally but has been touched very deeply by Olivia's passing has created in her memory The Olivia Act to be passed among other photographers. 

Because our memories of our children should be documented through beautiful photographs, this photographer (who wants their name left out of this) will be donating a family photo package to a family who might otherwise not be able to afford such an opportunity. This person is encouraging other photographers to do the same and help Olivia's memory live on!

Please let me know if there are other ways to help that I can add to the list above. Please help these childrens' memories live on.

In Honor of Olivia

Right now we are all trying to understand how it is that this world we live in is home to people who are capable of purposefully taking the lives of innocent children. The Sandy Hook Elementary tragedy that just occurred in Newtown, Connecticut will never be forgotten, because somehow we all have got to find a way to honor the 20 beautiful children and 6 heroic adults whose lives were selfishly cut short in a matter of mere minutes.

Like everyone, and as a mother, I am deeply affected by the thought of my child being taken from me in any way, let alone in such a violent, permanent way. But what I am having the most difficulty with is coming to terms with who this happened to. I was very good high school friends with Olivia Engel's father Brian. Due to life moving so fast it has been years since I have talked to Brian, but my heart has been repeatedly breaking for him and his wife Shannon since I learned of how personally they have been affected by this.

It is a shame that this nightmare is what brings me to get caught up on his family. But what I have learned about Olivia in the past few days has given me insight into what is surely a bright light that has joined the other angels in heaven. An energetic yet polite 6-year-old, Olivia was a heavily involved little girl who loved everything from math to tennis to music. She loved to go boating with her family. She also loved her little brother Brayden, who somehow has to understand that his own personal hero will no longer be there to show him how to do things as he grows up.

I ache for my friend, who somehow has to process seeing his family's face on CNN, seeing his daughter's name on the front page of the New York Times and on an episode of The Voice, and even meeting the President of the United States, all while carrying the weight of this loss on his shoulders. It's all the world can do to honor Olivia's memory and help the family to know that the entire world is grieving and praying for them.

My hope is that Olivia will be remembered for the light she clearly was, and that she will live on in her brother, her parents, in the love that every parent has for their own children, and in humanity, which has to do a better job in protecting each other from such darkness that tried to takeover on Friday, December 14th, 2012. We all have to BE better.

Back to Normal

Well, apparently being back to "normal" - and that means basically being primarily home in Texas for us - means that we are a lot busier! So the downtime for typing up some thoughts, observations, or projects has been few and far between!

We just completed quite a bit of travel for Thanksgiving, and survived Bugga's First Birthday Party! This means I can finally relax and enjoy the rest of this year's holidays...which seems weird but I think will require less planning, at least for this year.

I have several posts ready to go that are overdue for sharing, so keep an eye out if you are out there in internet-land keeping up with us!