Listmania: How to Survive Two Kids - Life with a Newborn and a Toddler

When I was pregnant with my second child, I spent a lot of time trying to wrap my head around the logistics of parenting two children at two very different stages of life. It's amazing how much a couple years between kids can mean a world of variation in needs, schedules, meals, preferences, abilities...the list goes on and on. I searched the internet trying to find advice from moms who had been there, but found there really was a shortage of practical information that I could put to use. I am starting this post 7 months into my life with two kids, and though I'm sure it is different for everyone, I think I have a perspective that can hopefully help others out there who are wondering how the heck they will get through this part of parenting. Maybe this will help...

Surviving Two Kids - Life with a Newborn and a Toddler

1. If you still have time before your second child arrives, do some preparation. I'm not talking about setting up the crib - I'm talking about sanity preparation. Start talking to your toddler about the new baby, and include terms like, "patience" and "fragile". 
2. Get your hands on as many big sibling books that you can find - we found "I'm a Big Sister" (brother version also available), as well as "Waiting For Baby" and "You and Me". These all show what life with a new baby will be like and should help immensely once the baby comes home.
3. Start stockpiling quiet toys that can be kept in special bins throughout your house. These can be used by your toddler during baby naptimes, nursing sessions, or when Mom just needs 15 minutes of silence (or almost silence anyway). Include items like books to read, crayons and coloring books, or quiet books (here's my version). To make the boxes even more exciting, only let your toddler use them when you need the quiet time.
4. Keep emergency items all over the place. I have a gallon-size ziploc in my car, my husband's car, and in my way-too-big-to-be-trendy purse. In these bags I have a will-not-be-missed change of clothes for each kid, a diaper for each kid, wipes, a disposable changing pad and a disposable diaper trash bag. At this point I do still use a diaper bag, but it stays in the car and I just pull things from it when I need too.
5. I always keep the following in my purse: A toddler-applicable snack. Stickers and crayons. An old (hopefully charged) smartphone loaded with whatever is the latest and greatest area of interest. I promise you will get caught somewhere, or need to buy some extra toddler happiness when the baby needs attention while you are running errands. A box of raisins always makes my older daughter happy when I need an extra 20 minutes to get everyone through a doctor appointment.
6. Solicit your toddler for help with the baby. This has been huge for us, and Bugga loves to feel important. Even at 2.5 she is able to bring me things like a baby blanket, a clean outfit for the baby, etc. if I just ask her. 
7. Grocery shopping with one kid was a breeze compared to two. In case you didn't learn this the first time around, your baby's car seat DOES NOT go on top of the shopping cart. Ever. And unless you are at Costco, the car seat will likely not fit inside the cart either, especially if you plan on actually shopping for anything, and definitely if your toddler is sitting in the kid seat. This is where the sling/baby carrier serves its purpose. Oh, and don't forget to park right next to the cart return.
8. Speaking of the baby carrier...that thing will come in handy a lot. I wore it all over the house. So did my husband, as for awhile that was the only place Bella would nap. (We do not miss those days AT. ALL.) I also wore it a lot outside of the house - besides shopping, it allowed me to still keep Bugga enrolled in her gymnastics class. She isn't quite old enough for a non-parented class, but I can't have the baby in the infant seat while Bugga is in class. But the sling was no big deal. And Bugga really needs that gymnastics class for a myriad of reasons, so I am so glad I did not have to suspend that from our schedule.
9. If your toddler doesn't use a sound machine, I would consider it at this point. My kids both have sound machines which are priceless tools when both at home and traveling. And now that you will have a new baby potentially screaming at all hours, a sound machine can muffle that sound so at least SOMEONE in your house can get some sleep.
10. Know that this chaotic mess of a life will not last forever. There will be tears of happiness and frustration several times over as you learn to adjust to everything. That first year of your child's life is HARD on a mom. And add a second (or third, or fourth) kid to it, and everything escalates. But your family will evolve into something that works for everyone.

*Note: For some reason I wrote this post and never published it, and I just found it now that my second child is 14 months old. I am happy to say we survived the first year (as you will) and things are definitely easier nowadays that we all know each other much better and have adjusted to life outside the womb. Hang in there!

Happy New Year 2015!

Ahhhh January 1st! A fresh new year! This day feels like the first day of school for me - so much potential for so much NEW.

And yes, I am making resolutions. I know, how lame, but again, I love the POTENTIAL of what I can do in the new year. I do try to be realistic though.

So here are mine:

1.) Have better posture. My back will thank me. This Mom Slouch thing is ridiculous.
2.) Make it a priority for our family to eat dinner together. Dinner will now be at 6:30 every night. If my husband can't make it home in time, he can eat when he does, but I am done cooking and eating after the kids go to bed.
3.) Make it a priority for the entire family to eat the SAME FOOD for dinner. Now that the baby is all about solids, now is the time to feed her everything so she doesn't end up in a pasta rut like her older sister. And I am done being a short order cook. Done.
4.) Limit myself to one soda a week.
5.) Limit myself to one fast food trip a month. This excludes Starbucks and my health-i-fied favorite sandwich at Jimmy John's. I'm trying to be realistic. And fair to myself.

I have some goals for what I want to happen with my diet, my workouts, etc. but those are tired goals so I won't bother sharing those here.

I also wanted to put some cleaning- and organization-related goals on the 'ol resolution list too, but I think those need to be more on the To Do list so they get DONE and then I'll see where I'm at with that plan. A lot to conquer there so I'm worried a resolution of this type might set me up for failure!! 

Anything unique on your list? Did you even make a list? Any New Year rituals you do instead?

Random Acts of Christmas Kindness 2014 - Free Printable

I realize I have been away awhile - life is crazy in my house right now with holiday season in full swing, along with the celebration of a 1st and a 3rd birthday. Basically, we are running non-stop right now!

However, I need to make time for this post so I can share with anyone who might need this.

If you've been reading my blog for awhile (anyone? Bueller?) then you might remember my thoughts about the tragic events that occurred at Sandy Hook Elementary School in December 2012. Just knowing someone who has lost a child to something so heartbreaking really struck me and since then I wanted to make an effort every year to honor Olivia Engel, and each of the other 25 lives lost that day.

My older daughter just turned 3 and she is at an age where she can really absorb the concept of kindness and how to share that with other people. Recently I shared with my Facebook and Instagram friends the Random Act of Kindness cards I put together for December. My plan is to involve my children as much as possible when we prepare and share these random acts, and spread some kindness both inside my home and around our community in honor of the Sandy Hook Angels.

Meanwhile, several people have requested the cards I made, so it makes sense to attach them here so anyone can have access to them.

Please print these out, and start sharing the kindness - it can be anything from paying for someone's coffee at Starbucks to cooking someone dinner - be creative!

I hope to post pictures soon of our experiences with this effort, and I'd love to hear how others have used the cards!

Download Random Act of Kindness Cards .pdf here!

It's Not About Gwyneth

This is a repost from something I shared with my friends on Facebook. Hopefully my blog readers also know what I'm trying to say.

So this Gwyneth Paltrow working mom thing is all over Facebook. Yes, she said her job is harder than other working moms. And then a gajillion people responded that, no, their jobs are harder than that of a celebrity. 

On other days I see people post links to blogs about someone trying to attempt to equalize the struggles of working moms versus stay-at-home moms, and it just results in a Battle of the Miserable (seriously, read the comments on any of these posts). 

Am I the only person who is tired of hearing everyone try to tear each other down by one-upping others about how hard their life is? 

Of course the grass is often much greener on the other side, but everyone has their struggles, whether it be 9 months on a movie set away from your family, or working 2 daily jobs away from your kids to make ends meet, or struggling to find professional success. 

Yes, celebrities have a lot of money and freedoms that regular people might not have, but they are also people too, with families they can't be with all the time and marriages that fail no matter how many nannies they hire. Stay at home moms and working moms all have their own reasons to be jealous of each other's lives. 

I guess the bottom line I get from all this is stop spending so much time tearing down the Joneses and find your own happiness.

Toddler Crafts & Fun for St. Patrick's Day

Our family isn't Irish (except maybe a teensy bit on my husband's side) but I love celebrating St. Patrick's Day. In college this meant heading to Savannah for parades and green beer. Nowadays it's more about crafts, cookies and some creative meal planning. 

I actually put more effort into celebrating than I had planned. Aside from the themed mantle, Bugga and I made Shamrock Suncatchers to decorate our windows. She is very proud of the result and was excited to tell her dad repeatedly, "I made that!", pointing at her masterpieces.

We also attempted the Fruit Loop Rainbow craft that you see all over Pinterest. I think she had fun, but the glue concept was new to Bugga, and she preferred to glue the cereal pretty much all over the page. Oh, and by the way, there are no blue Fruit Loops, so I think that just threw us off anyway.

I tried some new recipes for our St. Patrick's Day Dinner (which I actually made last night because all bets are off on Mondays) - corned beef, colcannon and shamrock chips. It was actually all pretty good, and my husband ate every bite (which is saying something).

Bugga helped me make shamrock sugar cookies - everything from helping me bake them (she mixed the ingredients together and helped with the cookie cutter) to decorating, to of course EATING the cookies.

We had a lot of fun - Happy St. Patrick's Day to everyone!

Oh Canada...Baby!

Well, she's here! On December 21st we welcomed our little dual citizen to the family! "Bella" joined us at 2:24 PM after we patiently waited for her arrival...and she was only 6 days late! As I am sure I will be posting about her as much as her older sister, "Bugga", I'm going to continue with my little blog nicknames to have a little fun with my kiddos' names without putting them out there before they have an opinion on the topic.

Things are going great with us, and I have to say, as much as I didn't want my poor kids to have holiday birthdays, it is definitely nice to have my husband home for some extended time from work so we can navigate these crazy baby and toddler waters together until I can get my Mom act together to get back to doing this on my own during the week.

If Bella had taken much longer I was scheduled to be induced on Christmas Day, which I was NOT excited about! Fortunately she found her way out a few days prior and we were all able to spend our first Christmas in Calgary home in our cozy living room, fireplace going, snow coming down outside, and one exSTATIC 2 year old...it has definitely been a Christmas to remember!

Happy holidays to all, and I wish everyone an exciting and prosperous 2014!

Big Changes!

Okay, so if you are a reader of my blog, you might have noticed that the last couple posts have been pretty........spaced..........out. Not my finest example of my writing discipline, but I swear I have a good excuse! Well, excuses really.

For starters: We are moving to Canada. From Texas. Which at a glance did not seem like it was going to be a huge deal (other than the violently different weather, but I'm sure I'll have more posts about that later...). It turns out, it is actually QUITE a big deal because, after all, it is an entirely different country. With that comes all sorts of nightmares around customs and importing things like, I don't know, our FURNITURE and our CARS and all sorts of drama. Throw in some loonies and some toonies (yep, that would be the sophisticated name of our new country's currency) and our lives will pretty much be a-changin'. But to be fair to the Calgarians we will soon call our neighbors, everyone up there at first glance appears to be super friendly and at least I can say they have beautiful weather in the summer. I'm going to hold on to that thought as long as I can...

And then there's excuse #2. 

Our Required Facebook Announcement

I'm pregnant. Oh yes. Believe me I have wanted to type many a blog about how miserable I was during my first trimester, but since we didn't tell a SOUL until Father's Day when he hit the safety zone of the second trimester, I couldn't very well publish it all over the internet. Which I think is a total scam. Expectant moms are typically very ill during the first three months, and it just isn't fair that we aren't allowed to publicly whine about it, only because we are trying to do the responsible thing and spare our extended family and friends the grief should there be some complication or what not.

So because I had to suffer in silence (except for my husband, poor guy), you can at least forgive me for being a blog slacker. I swear I'll do better just as soon as the morning sickness cuts me a break - I swear I can see the horizon!

Food Scrutiny

Like (hopefully) every parent, I am concerned about what sort of food my daughter is eating. I am starting to get pretty frightened over what we don't know about where our food comes from. Every day lately you hear stories in the news about the lack of labeling, GMOs that we don't know about, mistreatment of animals, pesticides, artificial coloring - all of this a part of what we put into our bodies.

Around the time my daughter started eating table food, I have started to turn my household into an all-organic one. As she watches what we eat, and then compares it to what she eats, she points out to me (sometimes literally) that she needs to be able to eat exactly what we eat. Which means what exactly? That my husband and I need to eat more healthy as well.

And prior to being a parent, I have always been highly concerned about what I eat - but it was more about fat and calories than anything else. As I learn more about what all these confusing ingredients mean, it is hard for me to not buy the fat-free version of something in exchange for the full-fat version. I had been programmed so long to think fat is bad.

But honestly, it just goes back to what we've always been told: everything in moderation. A moderate amount of fat in your diet not only requires you to avoid chemically-modified fat-free versions, but fat helps your body absorb the vitamins it needs to be healthy (for example, the type of salad dressing you use determines whether or not your body will actually recognize those vegetables as nutritious).

I'm probably having the toughest time with milk. I was raised to drink milk, and I have always been a big fan. I used to be proud that I could drink a gallon on my own in less than a workweek. But after learning so much about milk and its variations while learning about the ins and outs of breastfeeding, I'm not sure anymore. It definitely seems to have a lot of sugar in it for a beverage. But isn't it good for our bones? Ugh.

Here are some articles I've been reading lately that cause me to be concerned about our food supply:

Why Fat-free Salad Dressings Are Ridiculous

11 Horrifying Facts About Your Groceries

Monsanto Protect Act: 5 Terrifying Things to Know About the HR933 Provision

Project: 2013 Memory Box

I saw a cute and easy idea on Pinterest (of course), so this is my variation of it...

This is a bit of a year-long project, but it is an easy one. Keep a box (or a jar if you go that route) in an easy location, like the kitchen counter, and fill it with fun/happy/touching memories that happen throughout the year. Then, open the box on Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve and relive those great moments with your family.

Memory Box

Supplies Needed:

• cardboard box (I used a recently-emptied Kleenex mini-box - it already has a hole in the top, and reusing is my favorite way to go with trash)
• fun paper
• scotch tape
• hot glue gun
• decorative items (punches, paint pen, etc.) - optional, whatever you have!

Instructions:

1. Wrap the box in the decorative paper like you would a gift box. In my example, I used two different designs (black & white polka dots, and teal & white stripes), and split them over the opening so I did not have to cut too much. Use scotch tape to hold down ends.
2. Since there are now 2 scotch-taped sides, those are the sides I used for the "2013" signs so as to cover up my tape mess. In this example, I used purple cardstock cut to almost cover an entire side, punching out the corners to give it a more tailored look. Then I cut a glittery foam sheet slightly smaller and stuck it straight to the purple paper. I then hot-glued the sign over one scotch-tape side. 
3. Decorate the signs, and boxes, as desired! I might dress mine up some more, but for now, I'm keeping it simple.
4. Add memories throughout the year!
5. On New Year's Eve (or another night at the end of the year), open the box up when your family is together and read each of the memories. This is a great way to remember how the year went, while adding more reasons to celebrate!

New Year...More of the Same!

This is the time of year where people usually make really elaborate plans to be better, do better, live better. And I suppose everyone could use a little personal improvement on some level.

However, thinking this over, I really don't want too much to change in my life. Well, except maybe to slow down the growth of my daughter - she is getting way too big, way too fast. My husband and I are truly loving every minute with her, and with each other, and realize that we are very lucky to have what we do, and to live such full lives.

So my New Year's Resolution for 2013 is to continue to take time every day to really LOOK at my husband and really LOOK at my daughter and acknowledge how I feel in those moments and all the moments before and after.

Oh, and I would also like to resolve to go to bed before midnight on weeknights. I had to get that in there too.

Happy New Year everyone!

How We Can Help

I recently posted about my friend Brian, who lost his daughter, Olivia Engel, last week in the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting. So many people have been touched by this event, because we all know that this very easily could have been anyone's child. We all hurt because of this reality.

But as much as it could have been anyone's child, it wasn't. 

If anyone reading this has been personally touched by Olivia's story and would like to help in some way, here are some ideas:

1. Send your thoughts and prayers to Olivia's family by posting words of support on a Facebook page that some of my friends set up for this purpose. It can be found by clicking here. 

2. Make a Paypal donation that will go directly to Shannon & Brian Engel, Olivia's parents, to help with the burden of funeral costs, as well as a potential memorial for Olivia and all the victims. I can personally vouch for this PayPal account (if that helps at all??) because I know the people who set this account up for the Engels. You can make a donation here.

3. Mail a card, a letter, a prayer, a care package, Christmas presents for Olivia's 3-year-old brother or anything else heartfelt to the Engel family at the following address:

P.O. Box 697
Botsford, CT 06404

If you would like to send a donation this way, please make your check out to The Engel Family.

4. As you may have heard, the children who attend Sandy Hook Elementary will not be returning to that location for quite awhile, if ever. An available elementary school one town over in Monroe, Connecticut is being prepared for these students to return to their classes in January. 

To welcome the students back to school, and to help them know they are in a safe, loving and happy environment, there is a campaign to create a Winter Wonderland with thousands of paper snowflakes. This Snowflake Drive is being coordinated by the PTAs for the Newtown Schools. If you would like to contribute your snowflakes, please mail them to the following address by January 12th, 2013 to:

Connecticut PTSA
60 Connolly Parkway
Building 12, Suite 103
Hamden, CT 06514

5. An independent family photographer who does not know the victims personally but has been touched very deeply by Olivia's passing has created in her memory The Olivia Act to be passed among other photographers. 

Because our memories of our children should be documented through beautiful photographs, this photographer (who wants their name left out of this) will be donating a family photo package to a family who might otherwise not be able to afford such an opportunity. This person is encouraging other photographers to do the same and help Olivia's memory live on!

Please let me know if there are other ways to help that I can add to the list above. Please help these childrens' memories live on.

In Honor of Olivia

Right now we are all trying to understand how it is that this world we live in is home to people who are capable of purposefully taking the lives of innocent children. The Sandy Hook Elementary tragedy that just occurred in Newtown, Connecticut will never be forgotten, because somehow we all have got to find a way to honor the 20 beautiful children and 6 heroic adults whose lives were selfishly cut short in a matter of mere minutes.

Like everyone, and as a mother, I am deeply affected by the thought of my child being taken from me in any way, let alone in such a violent, permanent way. But what I am having the most difficulty with is coming to terms with who this happened to. I was very good high school friends with Olivia Engel's father Brian. Due to life moving so fast it has been years since I have talked to Brian, but my heart has been repeatedly breaking for him and his wife Shannon since I learned of how personally they have been affected by this.

It is a shame that this nightmare is what brings me to get caught up on his family. But what I have learned about Olivia in the past few days has given me insight into what is surely a bright light that has joined the other angels in heaven. An energetic yet polite 6-year-old, Olivia was a heavily involved little girl who loved everything from math to tennis to music. She loved to go boating with her family. She also loved her little brother Brayden, who somehow has to understand that his own personal hero will no longer be there to show him how to do things as he grows up.

I ache for my friend, who somehow has to process seeing his family's face on CNN, seeing his daughter's name on the front page of the New York Times and on an episode of The Voice, and even meeting the President of the United States, all while carrying the weight of this loss on his shoulders. It's all the world can do to honor Olivia's memory and help the family to know that the entire world is grieving and praying for them.

My hope is that Olivia will be remembered for the light she clearly was, and that she will live on in her brother, her parents, in the love that every parent has for their own children, and in humanity, which has to do a better job in protecting each other from such darkness that tried to takeover on Friday, December 14th, 2012. We all have to BE better.

Back to Normal

Well, apparently being back to "normal" - and that means basically being primarily home in Texas for us - means that we are a lot busier! So the downtime for typing up some thoughts, observations, or projects has been few and far between!

We just completed quite a bit of travel for Thanksgiving, and survived Bugga's First Birthday Party! This means I can finally relax and enjoy the rest of this year's holidays...which seems weird but I think will require less planning, at least for this year.

I have several posts ready to go that are overdue for sharing, so keep an eye out if you are out there in internet-land keeping up with us!

Living the Baby Life

I'm pretty sure my husband and I did not realize how much our social lives would change post-baby. Sure, we knew we would be doing more kid-friendly activities, and probably be spending less time in the bar scene. But it never even crossed my mind to think about day vs. night entertainment and how our social time of the day would change.

While pregnant a daydreamed of us introducing Bugga to all our favorite music by spending her first summer picnicking outside amphitheaters so we could bring along all our bulky baby gear and still enjoy the sounds we love. My husband and I talked about how fun it would be to now have an excuse to go see all those great animated movies that are now released every other weekend.


Well here we are, Bugga's first summer, and guess what? Babies have a bedtime. And it is generally before it even GETS dark, so all those summer concerts that normally start at 7pm? Not happening. Oh and taking the baby to the movie theater? Yeah, I didn't even THINK about the volume in those places - apparently it is very dangerous for tiny ears.


So for awhile we are limited to daytime events, squeezed between meals and nap times, and reasonable decibel levels. Gives my husband an excuse to invest in a stellar home movie system.

Happy 4th of July everyone! I'll be catching my fireworks on tv this year!

Listmania: Parenting Ideas

This is yet another list for me to collect ideas that I will use somewhere down the road, and you are welcome to as well. As usual, please feel free to make suggestions, and if it is something I think has a place on the list, I will not only add it into the post, I will give you credit via a link back to your blog (should you have one).

Parenting Ideas

Description: Once in awhile, through all those suggestions that are thrown at you from everyone from the dry cleaner to the grandmothers, a couple gems float to the top. I want to remember how to be the best parent I can be, and I may not always remember the right idea at the right time. I hope this list helps me stay on top of my parenting game, even if just a little bit.

1. Going to the beach? Take along baby powder - it's a miracle worker with getting sand of everyone's legs and feet.
2. Bored Jar: If your child child complains of boredom, they have to pick a slip from the jar and do the activity, good or bad. It might be going for ice cream, it might be cleaning their room.
3. Leave love notes on your child's pillow when they least expect one.
4. Hug your child every day when they wake up and when they get home from school.
5. Timers set definite boundaries. For example, with a timer, you can say, "I'm setting the timer. I want your room cleaned (or your shoes on, or the dishes unloaded) in 15 minutes. If you haven't finished by then, your correction is…." This method not only spurs on easily distracted children, but it also leaves little room for arguing about a job that isn't finished and whether the correction is warranted.Say something great about your child to someone else, knowing your child can hear you (but not necessarily with your child standing right there).
6. Make fun shaped sandwiches for lunches using cookie cutters.
7. Set family rules. “Our family rule is that the room has to be clean by 5:00 each day. Either you can clean it or I will. But, anything that I find laying around will go into a box in the garage and be unavailable for the next week." If your son doesn’t have his uniform for practice, he’ll learn an important lesson when he explains to the coach why he’s not prepared. If you find that your kids don’t even miss the toys or clothes that you hauled out to the garage, that lets you know they probably have more than they need and it’s time for a big donation to Goodwill Industries. 
8. Come up with a secret word, phrase, or hand gesture that means "I love you" so you and your child can communicate without them being embarrassed in front of their friends.
9. Next time your child "forgets" to put something away, like video games or sports equipment, put it away for him. When he asks where it is, tell him that he'll just have to look for it. Believe me; he will learn that it's a lot more trouble to find something that Mom has hidden than it is to put it away in the first place.
10. Ignore phone calls during quality time, and make it clear you are choosing to be with your child instead.
11. Decorate your child's mirror with a fun surprise message.
12. Your words help your child build self-esteem. Tell her she is beautiful.  Praise specific features of her body.  Encourage her to wear clothing that makes her feel comfortable. Let her choose her hair length.  Allow her choices with clothing. Realize it's okay if clothing is sometimes wrinkled or mismatched. Be there with love and affection when someone teases her. 
13. Send your kiddo something in the mail with an actual STAMP! What could be more fun?
14. If time-outs don't work, try a "time-in." This can be accomplished by sending your child to a designated spot where he must complete a task that has a definite beginning and end. This could be putting together a small puzzle, stringing 50 beads on a piece of yarn, or tracing the alphabet. A time-in diverts his energies and encourages him to focus on something positive.
15. If your child likes to stomp off to his room or stomp around in anger, send him outside to the driveway and tell him to stomp his feet for one minute. He'll be ready to quit after about 15 seconds, but make him stomp even harder.
16. Use a WHEN-THEN routine. “WHEN your room is clean (which means I can see your entire floor and the horizontal surfaces are clear of clutter) THEN, you can have your TV time, or THEN we’ll leave or practice, or THEN you can join us for dinner.” Creating a When-Then routine in which the room must be cleaned before a more enjoyable part of the routine occurs – creates a natural incentive. If you follow a When-Then routine every single day- there’s no need to fuss or fight about it. As my mother-in-law says, it’s the law. It’s just the way we do things around here. That’s called “letting the routine be the boss” so you don’t have to be.
17. Watch what you say! Don't criticize your own body. Never make fun of the way someone else looks. Say that cosmetics make us look different or fancier not prettier.  Never say, "I wish I looked like her." Don't freak out if she gets dirty. Avoid fawning over beautiful models and actresses.
18. Lead by example: Limit access to media. Provide your daughter with dolls with dark and light skin. Don't always wear makeup. Provide healthy food to make it more likely for your child to have a healthy body. Encourage physically active play and activities. Wear a swimsuit even if you don't feel like wearing one, so you can swim with your child. Develop a social circle that expands outside your likely-homogenous neighborhood. Eat all foods in moderation.  Provide opportunities for your child to develop her unique talents. Celebrate exercise for making the heart healthy. Celebrate acts of the heart.

What else???

Keeping a Schedule

I read on various blogs before I left my job that the most important thing about staying at home with your kids is to create a schedule. A schedule gives you purpose, helps you feel accomplished at the end of the day when the house might still be a mess, and helps you fit in everything you want to do with your child(ren). And since you are your own boss, if you disregard your schedule for a day, so be it.

This seemed genius to me so off I went, building what I thought would work for us into Excel, color-coding all the fun we’d be having. I feel that the best method for this schedule building is to color-code by category. This way things can be interchanged when needed for the most part (varying by time needed for each). I also recognize that this is a living document and it is subject to change permanently on a regular basis as my daughter needs different things, and hopefully as I become more efficient with my time.

Below is an example of where I started. Note that it is pretty general. The feeding schedule works for my 4.5 month old who is not yet eating solids (and STILL needs an hour to eat). The nap schedule would ideally work, but, well, we are still working on that. What isn’t included here is meal planning for the following week (done on the weekend), and what happens around the time my husband gets home from work, but my daughter typically gets a bath, eats one more time, and heads to bed.

At the very least, I have a “focus” room in the house each day, where even if Bugga never gets her naps (and right now this is often) I still pass through the room of honor repeatedly and “tidy on the go” so that at least I feel like I got something done that day. 

I welcome any other tips that can be generally useful for getting through the day feeling accomplished!

Over the River and Thru the Woods

Neither my parents nor my husband’s live anywhere near us, though we have already recognized that we all of a sudden are seeing them much more frequently now that we have added a grandchild to the mix. Along with that is my personal realization that I’m not really there anymore – what people want to see is the baby. (And how can I blame them? She IS pretty cute.)

So though we still have to plan trips to the grandparents’ houses very carefully so we can mirror all the comforts of home for the baby without having to rent a U-haul, and I have to prepare myself to hand her over immediately, reducing my time with my child, I suppose there are some new benefits.

I just realized that over the 4-day trip, I actually SHOWERED EVERY DAY. This is sadly a very big deal. But with someone watching Bugga when normally it would just be me, it was a nice perk.

And yes, this baby is my new – and BEST – accessory. She is a blast to show off, what with her easy smiles and gurgles, purple and pink girly outfits, and even that pouty bottom lip that shows up when she’s upset at something.

Role Models

For no reason I can explain, Bugga is just now meeting her only cousin, who is three going on 12. Well, I suppose the distance has something to do with it, as they were unable to visit us with the rest of the in-laws over the holidays when we welcomed Bugga into the family.

Aside from the 5 weeks of daycare that my daughter participated in, she has had limited exposure to other people her size, so her cousin was fascinating from the moment her cousin asked the first second, “Can I hold her?!?” Bugga has never seen such energy! She watched mesmerized as my husband sought to cram as much Uncle-ing as possible into the brief overnight stay we had with his niece, never taking her eyes off this new 3-year-old role model.

Could it be coincidence that Bugga then decided to test out her voice more than ever, pushing it to higher decibels than we thought she was capable of without ending up in hysterics? We found it highly entertaining (and somewhat confusing), while my brother- and sister-in-law never batted an eye, used to such chaotic scenes repeating themselves daily in their living room.

I feel like we visited with a 4-month-old infant and left with a toddler. I get a sense that my daughter is finally realizing there is a world full of all sorts of fascinating people and things around her and she needs to swallow up as much as she can TOMORROW.