Engineering Parenting

My husband and I are both engineers. Because of this, we approach everything with a heavy dose of logic like the whole world is a math problem. Even parenting apparently.

Bugga's schedule has been pretty steady lately, and she's been nursing and eating solids well, sleeping through the night consistently, and even getting almost 3 hours of naps a day. Then there was last night. We normally nurse her to sleep (I know, I know) around 8:15ish, and she's typically out like a light at 9:05 PM. Not last night.

Last night she was wide awake. Not interested in sleeping whatsoever and just stood up in her crib happy as a clam unless we left the room, and then she cried. This went on for hours. It was awesome. Oh and it was my husband's birthday. So no cake for us.

We spent those three hours in my daughter's room analyzing what had gone wrong that day. Should we have not switched up the pajamas? She didn't need a bath after dinner (for once) that night, did we throw off her bedtime routine? Did she nap enough during the day (yes)? Did I have caffeine? Like a math problem, we figured we had somehow switched up the equation and it resulted in bedtime chaos. Unfortunately in this exercise, anything that DID go wrong (we still don't know what) fell into my lap, as I am the one who spends my days with her. Sigh. No more math tonight please...

May Successes

• 5/1: Bugga is sitting quite well on her own now and I am SO proud! Not bad for 5.5 months!
• 5/2: Today Bugga took a nap ON HER STOMACH. Up until this point we had rigged up a blanket system in her crib that kept her from rolling onto her belly since once there, she would cry in frustration.
• 5/3: Vacuumed the dust off of the ceiling fans. Uh yeah, this is a success.
• 5/4: The baby is rolling back to front repeatedly like a little wind-up toy. She is getting so strong. Actually have all the ingredients for a Cinco de Mayo feast of champions for tomorrow - Corona Light included (gotta watch those calories you know).
• 5/5: (bonus weekend inclusion) We have dropped the use of the pacifier at night and last night Bugga slept from 9:50pm until 7:52am - with only 3 minutes of crying at 6:02am! Typically we'd have jumped right up to get in there and provide the pacifier, but we waited to see what she'd do and she was back off to sleep in no time!
• 5/6: Off
• 5/7: My birthday was today, so I promised myself a gift of no baby stress, which I accomplished. Our big success? Getting a night out with my husband for a grown-ups-only dinner, while Bugga spent the time with friends of ours. It was actually easier than I thought it would be!
• 5/8: Today Bugga napped for a solid 2 hours!!! Nevermind that it was on my lap...at least my email account is a lot cleaner. 
• 5/9: Baby got up way too early for my preference today which really started our day off on the wrong foot...but she then took TWO naps for almost 4 hours of daytime sleep, which is unheard of in this house.
• 5/10: Decent napping again, which allowed me to straighten up the house enough to be presentable. Since we just gave our landlord notice we will not be renewing our lease (we bought a house!), he is bringing potential tenants through this evening. Don't get me started how inconvenient that timing is, but whatever.
• 5/11: My husband worked from home today, and with Mother's Day this weekend, took Bugga off for some "errands" with him so I could sleep. Love him. Relationship success for sure.
• 5/12: Off
• 5/13: Mother's Day - SO off. (Happy Mother's Day everyone!)
• 5/14: Kicked Monday's BEhind! Hit up Whole Foods for organic vegetables to make for Bugga's first foods (avocado, butternut squash, and sweet potato), she catnapped her way through the day but still logged over 2 hours (which is a success in my book), and I even found time to do the dishes, straighten my bedroom, and...wait for it...WORK! OUT! WORKOUT! I actually got on the elliptical today while Bugga exersauced on the new exersaucer. Record day. Especially for a Monday. 
• 5/15: Must have been tired from the workout - can't remember!
• 5/16: Worked out again! That is TWICE in one week. Sigh. That used to be no big deal.
• 5/17: This one seems to have fallen off the radar...
• 5/18: Closed on our new house today! TOTAL success!
• 5/19-20: OFF
• 5/21: Hmmm. Today my success is that I got out of bed today. And only because I had to. Yep, it was that kind of day.
• 5/22: Another tough one. Made an attempt at sleep training naps this week in case it wasn't obvious. Oh! Bought a lot of great fruits and veggies at the grocery store today to get my diet turned around already.
• 5/23: After a really rough night (thank you, nap issues) Bugga and I still woke up with best intentions and survived the day together!
• 5/24: Really enjoyed today with my daughter. She is smiling at everything and I love watching the joy in her face as she figures out she needs to learn how to go forward instead of backward when she wants that toy in front of her.
• 5/25:
• 5/26:

Success Story

When I was in the professional world, every role I had involved some sort of an annual review to track my performance in that position. So now, as I stay at home, I am no longer required to document such accomplishments, however I still feel I can benefit from seeing all that I have accomplished on a regular basis.

I would like to start tracking what I feel are my successes for each day "on the job" at home with my daughter. These will likely be random things that might not seem like a big deal to outsiders, but might be something I have struggled to find time for while raising a newborn. 

Maybe this will be something that will give you an idea for tracking your successes to help make the transition to being a stay at home parent even more rewarding!

I will start with the month of May, and try to do this every weekday (at least!)...

Sleep Stress

I've noticed lately that I have a little anxiety in the evenings regarding what that night will bring for sleep for the house. My husband has been out of town for business for the past 4 nights (only two more to go!!) and it has been challenging to say the least.

As I mentioned previously, Bugga is a pretty decent sleeper at night, but can't nap for crap. I take equal responsibility for this so I'm working on my parenting skills (back to that MBA in Baby thing again!). I still am in the habit of tracking all her diapers, sleep time and nursing time via my Total Baby app on my iPhone so I am well aware how much sleep she is (not) getting.

The first few mornings my husband was gone, Bugga decided that 5am had the most exciting events taking place, and she was not about to sleep through it. Ugh. I am not a morning person. Neither is my husband. We are hoping neither is our daughter, but, well...there's still hope for the future I suppose. I'm guessing this is tied to minimal sleep time during the day that results in her being overtired and having trouble keeping the longer stretches at night.

So by last night, I was so scared she'd wake up super early, and just never go back to sleep. I had her on track with feedings at least all day so I could get them all in with her going to bed a little sooner than usual. I have heard the phrase "sleep begets sleep" so WOW was I hoping this was right. But I was stressed out.

Usually I'll nurse her a bit before I put her in her sleep sack and then lay her in her crib. After that full meal she is typically pretty exhausted so it's all we can do to keep her eyes open until she sets her head to the mattress. But not last night...ugh the instant sweat on the back of my neck when I heard her fussing over the baby monitor as I finished shoveling down my dinner so I could go to bed immediately and stock up on my own sleep.

But then something miraculous happened - she fussed for about 10 minutes, with it never really making it to a cry and then ALL THE NOISES STOPPED. Had she really just put herself to sleep? I waited another 10 minutes before tempting fate and then snuck into the nursery. Yep, there she was, arms splayed over her head, out cold. Oh, the pride I felt that moment.

I did go to bed shortly after in case this was a fluke. I heard her singing at 2am (and LOVED THAT!), fussing at 5am and 6am - but each time she soother herself back to sleep. She woke for the day at 7:15am. I'll say that last night was a Total Win.

And tonight is a new night. But hopefully I feel a little less stress, to be replaced by a little more confidence in The Bugga.

Keeping a Schedule

I read on various blogs before I left my job that the most important thing about staying at home with your kids is to create a schedule. A schedule gives you purpose, helps you feel accomplished at the end of the day when the house might still be a mess, and helps you fit in everything you want to do with your child(ren). And since you are your own boss, if you disregard your schedule for a day, so be it.

This seemed genius to me so off I went, building what I thought would work for us into Excel, color-coding all the fun we’d be having. I feel that the best method for this schedule building is to color-code by category. This way things can be interchanged when needed for the most part (varying by time needed for each). I also recognize that this is a living document and it is subject to change permanently on a regular basis as my daughter needs different things, and hopefully as I become more efficient with my time.

Below is an example of where I started. Note that it is pretty general. The feeding schedule works for my 4.5 month old who is not yet eating solids (and STILL needs an hour to eat). The nap schedule would ideally work, but, well, we are still working on that. What isn’t included here is meal planning for the following week (done on the weekend), and what happens around the time my husband gets home from work, but my daughter typically gets a bath, eats one more time, and heads to bed.

At the very least, I have a “focus” room in the house each day, where even if Bugga never gets her naps (and right now this is often) I still pass through the room of honor repeatedly and “tidy on the go” so that at least I feel like I got something done that day. 

I welcome any other tips that can be generally useful for getting through the day feeling accomplished!

Here We Go!

Welcome to my new adventure! I just quit my job last week after 5 challenging weeks back at the office after maternity leave. My reason is probably obvious. My goal? To master this parenting thing and give my daughter everything I can, while selfishly being able to be there to be a part of all her Firsts. I never expected I'd choose this path, but that 23 inches of smiles and giggles has changed everything else about our life - why not this too?

As much as it is a time for me to teach her everything she can handle, I am fully aware that I am sure to learn JUST as much.So that is what this blog is for...a journal of how we spend our days, which I am sure will be peppered with tear-fests (from both of us), lazy days, parenting mistakes, recipes and crafts, field trips, playdates and who knows what else!

Feel free to follow along - I might need some advice from time to time. And maybe I'll be able to help you out too! Thanks for reading!